Hi all,

So, long time porn addict here. I'm 24 and have been using porn since I was around 12. I have memories of discovering it through the old flip phone browsers and then using my PSP web browser to view material. Fast forward, and I would say that my porn use only became a problem towards the end of my time at university. For the last two to three years, I would watch porn at least once a day, varying from 15 minutes up to 2-3 hours at a time. Also, I have always had a problem with 'collecting' my favourite scenes. I have been in a relationship for 9 years with a wonderful girl and I have never once cheated on her, however, for many years she did not know that I watched porn.

I have attempted many times to give up, but I am currently on day 3 with no porn and it's the furthest I have gotten in around 2 years. Already I believe I'm starting to feel more emotions, starting to feel more present, and I'm feeling quite emotional to be honest.

I would like to ask a couple of things:

1) How did you get addicted to porn and how does it manifest itself?

2) Does my addiction sound like a major addiction?

3) I have read a few times that porn addiction can manifest due to childhood sexual abuse. This terrifies me because I have no memory of ever being abused, but I do get concerned that I could have repressed the memory. My parents did have a very turbulent marriage that let to instability and fear, and at times they would drink too much and I would have to take the parental role. I realise this could be trauma enough, but it still worries me that I may have repressed something. Can I be addicted to porn from mild childhood neglect and angst?

Congratulations to all who are doing well, and keep strong friends!