After a few dramatic mood swings (I think my hormones just went crazy) and a few episodes of suicidal ideation (I felt guilty, disappointed of life and dead inside at least two or three times), I finally somehow managed to snap myself out of the compulsive desire. I just felt it break inside me. What happened was that I hit a limit which my mind would simply not tolerate, so I think it shut the desire down. (This happened yesterday.)

I'm feeling very glad that I'm free of the controlling hand of my urge right now. I've had sexual thoughts cross my mind at various times during the day but I was immediately able to chase them away. I feel the mental need not to indulge in them very intensely, so I think I'd be able to stay strong for longer this time.

I'm probably way too optimistic and could relapse again at any time but I really feel that my willpower is strong enough already. That said, there is no greater achievement for me than being able to control myself.

I'm now able to enjoy my job and listening to music again. I hope I'd be able to start enjoying playing videogames soon (and reading books, hopefully). These are the things which give real pleasure to my mind, not only to my flesh.