I've always thought of masturbation as a normal, natural thing to do. Everyone around me did it, I never saw anyone speak badly about it, except in memes, it just felt like it's something I'm supposed to do. Back in high school I would tell myself to "not fap for a week, for the lols" and of course I'd fail it.

However, when I got into college, around the time exam season hit, I'd stop fapping, mostly because of stress and not really having time to do it, after it was over I would start again, like going for an ice cream after having a sore throat. Then I started to realize that there was something more going on. Most of the days I didn't really feel like doing it, and yet, I did. Whether it was out of boredom or "Oh I'm finally alone at home, now's the perfect time" I just kept doing it. Even though I noticed something wasn't right, it's like my brain didn't dare to try and stop, because I still didn't think of it as an addiction, but as a natural thing.

A couple of months ago I started working on myself, to fix all the bullshit I didn't like about myself, so I started to talk to some close friends about some advice. One friend in particular mentioned he was doing the NoFap challenge and at that point was 5 weeks in. To me that sounded bizarre but at the same time I thought "That's such a [friend's name] thing to do" because he often does things that sort of deviate from everyone else.

A week ago, I had a much more serious conversation with him, concerning all my biggest problems (which I won't go into here to stay on topic) and after a lengthy talk he said I should watch the "Universal Man" on Youtube. I gave him a looksy and noticed he focuses a lot on NoFap. Since I liked all his other advice I finally realized that porn addiction might be an actual thing. What got me the most was him mentioning that if you watch porn too much, your interests become more and more twisted, and I saw myself in those words because I really have gone far from the lines of normal at this point.

Last Wednesday, for the first time, I consciously said to myself "Ok, let's not fap anymore and see how long we survive". I've never had any other addiction so I really don't know how this will work out. So far I have failed once after a week and now I'm 5 days in. I still get urges all the time, especially since I have nothing to do and am pretty much always bored, but I really try my best to not give in. Hopefully I'll reach the great 30 day line, maybe even the greater 90 day line.

Anyways, just wanted to share this little story of mine, I feel like I'll be able to take this more seriously now that I have admitted it to a group specifically for this. Thank you for your attention and good luck to all you fapstronauts.