I had to reset my days this week. I was feeling a lot of loneliness this week and it was in part of a past relationship coming back up in my life.

The person that I was seeing a month back texted me over the weekend. She was apologizing for ghosting me and saying how I deserve to have a relationship (she said this because I don't a have history of being in a relationship). I understood she was coming from a good place with her words but it really hurts that after so much silence and she already said sorry for not communicating clearly.

By her texting me over the weekend, it brought up a lot of emotions that I was trying to deal with on my own. It put me in a lonely place because she felt sorry for me and petty me.

It cause me to find a way to relieve this feeling that I was having and I resorted to looking at porn.

Even thought I had to reset my days back to zero, I found understanding of my triggers that can cause me to look at porn and masturbate. I'm still feeling down about this situation but I'm not going to resort to looking at porn to help resolve this problem going forward.