I don’t write this as a form of gaining pity nor karama or whatever. I write this for myself to put it out there. I think my biggest sin is Lust, and am tired of feeling like a slave to it. Am starting today as day one and I still feel urges even though it’s only been barely a day. I feel so weak to my urges, feeling zombie brain numb when I go to do it. I am failing myself and I need to stand up for myself. I’ve done this before back in 2020, and I know it’s hell. But the rewards are so worth it. But I don’t feel that fuel anymore, that spark to get better. Like living the way I am is “okay”. But I don’t want to shine the chains I keep me tied. I post this so I put it out there, so it’s not just in my head left to be over taken by whatever next thought I have. I have to keep trying