Hi, I feel like I'm addicted to porn and suffer from hyper sexuality. Allow me to elaborate it is not the frequency that is troubling but rather the symptoms before, after and around watching pornography and masturbating.

17 days ago I quit doing it. These days were one rollercoaster of a ride.. despression, emptyness.. los of interest in life in general.. frustration.. compulsions.. Why did I quit? I have been going through a very tough time in my life and am in therapy. But the most prominent reason is pornography is poison.. I have been disgusted by the fact of poluting my mind with it.. I mean by the very effect of how good it feels.. I get a kick out of it.. this is a problem.. besides this there is one symptom above all else that really is destroying me and my brain/mind as a human. After I have watched porn and masturbated I experience tension and dull kind of a feeling in the front of my head which is extremely concerning to me.. this has been happening since some time ago after experiencing a lot of difficut things and over indulging in pornography. This feeling carries with it some kind of sensation of me not being in the world like there there is some kind of barrier between me and the real world some kind of derealization. Also when I was also suffering from some relationship problems I sometimes would fall into some kind of darkness or void.. my contextual awareness would disappear and it would feel as If I woulf be lost somewhere in my mind unable to come back to my senses and the world.. Luckaly I have overcome the concern of it being something lasting I know it happens only post porn and masturbation and after quiting for some time I return to being back to normal person again.. I feel like I am destroying my life, mind...

So I have stopped for 17 days and hoped this is permanent.. sadly I relapsed.. I don't beat myself up for I rather show compassion and understanding that these things have been created because of life difficulties and a way of coping with stuff.

I relapsed because after 14 days or so healthy sexually urges appear, I find myself more attracted to women again and I become extremely sensitive to a lot of things and they trigger me sexually.. this cause me to cheat in a way I woulf call it and I started edging... this caused me to edge for few days at some point orgasming.. and loosing my sexual energy which is sad.. further down the line this cause me to relapse completely watching porn and masturbating again more than once now..

I really hope someone can take time to read this and help me out.

What can I do to make it lasting? And quit porn forever? What should I be aware of when quiting this and cleaning my mind from this pollution. Is there some road and symptoms I should be expecting to deal with? Please help me out 🙏🏻