TLDR: I messed up and want to change for the better.

So here's my story, the bad and the ugly

My porn addiction has destroyed me as a person, it developed from a young age when I was in high-school right up until now

I had a girlfriend at 18, we broke up when I was 22, it was recently my birthday and I'm now 23, I have so much I want to achieve and strive for but I feel that in making this post it'll help create a clearer path.

My addiction developed a improper view of my relationship where I couldn't get elections and lead to mistrust within our relationship, it created a false idea of what love and sex is to me and I don't want that for you.

She said it was a form of cheating which I see what she meant, the thing is she wanted "space" and I found out she cheated on me so I decided to leave and get my things while I could (she wouldn't let me get my things) the relationship was toxic and just got worse, we both had insecurity being satisfied.

I still want to call her for closure to ask why she did it but I know my answer, it was me I was apart of the problem, I realise this and do believe it's for the best I don't make that call.

Now as I'm 23, I want to make that change and know its hard, my brothers and sisters in the community, you may be thinking I'm an awful person, you may think I need guidance, you might even laugh at how foolish I've been but I wouldn't say I'm not here for forgiveness but more for you to read my story and understand that I'm wanting to burn my past to become a better self.

I have a degree in film and graphic design, I don't know where that will take me but I want to believe I can strive for my goals as an artist, I found out during that time when I was with my ex I have ADHD, finding out I have an addictive personality, I want to figure out myself more.

Alas that is my story, not a pretty one, no, but a real one.