Okey if someone told me 15 years a go that porn could kill me, i don't think i would have take that information seriously, but now i can say it : Porn can and WILL kill you if you do not stop.

I know it's a bit long, but i think it's an important issue.

What is kindling ? :

Kindling due to substance withdrawal refers to the neurological condition which results from repeated withdrawal episodes from sedative–hypnotic drugs such as alcohol and benzodiazepines.

Each withdrawal leads to more severe withdrawal symptoms than in previous episodes. Individuals who have had more withdrawal episodes are at an increased risk of very severe withdrawal symptoms, up to and including seizures and death. Long-term use of GABAergic-acting sedative–hypnotic drugs causes chronic GABA receptor downregulation as well as glutamate overactivity, which can lead to drug and neurotransmitter sensitization, central nervous system hyperexcitability, and excitotoxicity.

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The first thing to notice is the mention of alcohol and benzo, but a lot of studies now showed us that the damage of porn on the brain are the same as cocain or worst.

The brain do not care from where the dopamine rush come from, he only wants it.

So what if porn addiction can lead to that kindling effect? It would be a real nightmare for some people to quit porn, guess what, im one of them, and i know that there is probably a lot of people like me who do not realize it.

I remeber the first time i discovered nofap, i didn't knew exactly that porn was such a big issue, i only wanted to get a girlfriend and that's all, i didn't did research about how much porn can destroy your brain, and i regret a lot, but at least at the time, i was doing good, really good, i felt amazing, i was socializing and i almost got a girlfriends, it was like pure magic happening in my life, but better than that, i didn't felt really that bad, i felt horny of cours and i had some struggle to not jerk off, but overall i was FINE.

After that, some shit happened, and i relapsed, the relapse was very hardcore, even before i didn't had so much porn and masturbation in my life, i was unemployed ( guess what, i'm sill unemployed ) and all i was doing in my life was masturbating ALL NIGHT waking up eating bad shit, and masturbating again until my penis was hurting me, but at this point i didn't even cared about the pain, i was masturbating every minute i could, it was in 2018 ans i still remember how deep i was, it was awful.

And in the summer of this one year, something happened again and made me stop porn cold turkey, this is when the nightmare began, i became paranoid, extreme fear, intrusive thought, fiver, deep sadness, feeling of emptiness and it was like that for 3 months and more, because of cours i relapsed and every time i decided to stop it was the same thing again.

Now after 3/4 years of constants relapsing, an even pushed me to stop porn again, and the same thing happened to me, extrem fear about multiple thing, stress, paranoid toughs, intrusive toughs.

I can't sleep well, i can't eat well, i feel most of time deeply empty like if i had no soul anymore, i can't see the beauty of the world again like nature ect.

My motivation is zero and i feel anxious EVERY DAY.

I have some medication for the stress a doctors gave me a few days ago, i think it work but the psychological damage are made and i think it's going to take a lot of time to heal the medication is limited, i have a stock for only 40 days, wich is less than the usual 90 days of " nofap ".

The thing that made me do that post is that i realised that i some way this time it's way more hard than the first time i did a cold turkey nofap 3 years ago, and i think i know why now : Kindling.

You know that feeling when you relapse after a long time without porn ? That amazing dopamine rush ? The binge watching that can last for a very very long time ? What if that binge watching was leading step by step to a bigger kindling ? Since the 3 years passed, i relapsed a LOT and watched porn almost every day, even when i was supposed to be on nofap.

The purpose of this post is to make a call about this kindling issue, i trully it's real, not for every one of cours, i was a VERY HEAVY porn user and some of you thank god for that, aren't as much as i was, but it doesn't mean you can't be touch by the kindling, all it take is a relapse after some days/week without porn, the bigger you will binge watch porn and the longer you will edging, the worst that kindling will be, when i said that i can't kill you it's not a joke, i feel very bad physically and im afraid to have some serious heatlh issue because of all that anxious and stress.

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Guys, life is good, life is beautiful, i even if i can't really see it anymore, i know it, save your life, do not be weak, it's not worth it, i passed all my life thinking " i regret, but it's okay i will never touch porn again " to relapsed a few day after, i was not serious enough, if i knew how much damaging it would have been, my life would be a true paradise right know, but i wasn't serious enough, and all i have for now is a tastless life with a touch of stress and anxiety that made of my life a real living nightmare.

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Make the good choice, stop for good and never look back, what's waiting you behind the door of success have not cost, it's pure happiness, pure joy, pure faith, pure life.

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I wish you all the best.

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