M21. This is my first time posting here. I’ve been following this subreddit for a couple of years now. I’ve been watching porn and masturbating for over ten years. I was still a child when I started. I’ve been trying to quit PMO for three years now when I realized that I had a problem. I found myself masturbating multiple times a day. I counted around 450 masturbations that year. Since then I think I’ve improved in that aspect, although I think it’s worthless because every time I spend more and more time on each masturbation. Porn has ruined my life. I’m fucked up. I hadn’t been able to get a girlfriend in 5 years and I’ve had sex only once in my life and it was with a prostitute. I feel really bad because I’m not unattractive and have lots of good qualities, but somehow I can’t get involved in a normal relationship. I can’t see people normally because porn changed my perception of sex and life in general. I’ve spent a lot of time, money and energy to porn.

This week it’s been pretty rough for me. I started the year good. I tried to control myself. I was three days short to achieve 90 days without masturbation, but I failed because I had a wet dream and then I jerked off. I masturbated more this past week than I did the last five months. I f hate it because now that I am free at my room I am unable to do anything else other than watch porn. I thought that this time I could change but I couldn’t. I feel depressed and desperate. I don’t know what to do. I need help. I simply am not capable of having a phone or even internet.