unsure about the flair; relapse report with a motivational message i guess

I had my urges under rather good control the past few months. rather recently I started to get into stoicism more and more and had a pretty good run. Today I relapsed. big time. I was pretty horny all of a sudden and went on the hub. I knew that engaging with porn is not the right way so I thought I could "just have a peak" at some cam2cam platforms where I used to chat with girls back then. That’s where I fell in a rabbit hole. I finally connected with a girl and we got started. after a while she asked me for my instagram and I usually don’t give any socials out. I’m not that active on instagram so I thought to myself "whatever, it won’t hurt" (spoiler: it did). We got on a call on instagram and all of a sudden she sends me a video she screen recorded earlier and blackmailed me that she will send this to my followers/the people I follow. (user: @xegom41486) So there I sat. with my dick in my hand and a dumb look on my face. I stalled her while I deactivated my account, reported her and fell into a state of shame i have never felt before. I told my girlfriend immediately that I fucked up big time and (understandably) she is disappointed in me.

I asked myself: what is busting a nut worth? I know this is a specific case and thankfully something most of you will never experience but I potentially screwed my ‘reputation' with this leak, somewhat my future and my relationship.

Thank fuck that nothing got leaked (most of the time these scammer just move on to their next victim and I did not receive any texts or whatsoever that something got leaked). However, a shitty time is now ahead of me in my relationship.

This was my last relapse and I will get back to my habits and leave this shit aside for good. It used to work so well for me to have a structured day but since I moved a few weeks ago I got sloppy which is probably the reason for my relapse. the FAULT however is mine alone.

What helps me: every evening before going to bed I write a to do list of what I will do the next day. the next day I just work of that list and I am focused and don’t even have time to get distracted. Everything you do in life has consequences. let’s learn to become an accountable person and do not let short time pleasure win over discipline.

I am sharing this with you guys because 1. i kinda need to get it off my chest and 2. to show you where this addiction can lead you to.

go talk to someone in this community if you find yourself in a tough situation. I’ve been a member of this sub for a long time (this is a burner account) but I never had the courage to post something here - it would’ve been so much better than going though this shit. please learn the smart way, from mine and others' mistakes, and not the hard way by putting yourself through this.

"There’s two types of pain: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. The only difference is that the pain of discipline weighs ounces while the pain of regret weighs tons."

stay strong.