Hello-

I am posting here because I truly have no idea what else to do. I am a 63 year old man who has been addicted to porn since the 90s. It has effected my life in many ways and most of all my marriage. My wife long ago accepted my addiction and has tried to "appease" me by including porn in our sex life.

This has led to several unhealthy outcomes Im not necessarily proud of that my wife has done to try to continue to sexually please me. Shes gotten breast implants (twice) and tans despite doctors orders. However, the biggest thing is around 2015 she agreed to indulge my cuckold and bbc fantasies. In the 8 years since (with a covid break) she has semi regularly met other men and had sex with them on video and pics both with me present and without. While she did "enjoy" it some, this was very much for me.

In the past couple of months, some of the videos have begun getting shared in our community. I honestly have no idea how they got out. We do share content with potential partners and past partners etc. Several of her friends are now aware and we have had to stop going to church. We have now found out that our kids (adults) have seen them. Unfortunately, one of the videos includes her saying the N word alot as well.

My wife is mortified and obviousluy has said never again. I fully support this and agree. But im still addicted. I watch videos of her doing it and others on a daily basis still. I have deleted all out out accounts on dating websites etc. I just cant stop the addiction. Please help!