Sorry if this isn't the appropriate sub to post this to:

Me again, hello, I'm not sure why depression is deciding it wants to be the biggest cunt ever, but it is. I can barely wake up, I don't enjoy much anymore, everything triggers me to go silent because my brain is fucking useless. I am fighting the urge to seclude myself from everything and just ghosting literally everyone. It is so inexplicably hard and work doesn't make it any easier. I'm alone in whatever area I'm put in due to being graves and not needing a lot of people like days does. I don't feel like I am accepted at all with my team members, whether it is day or night crew. I feel like my gf is growing tired of me, I feel like my wife (we're polyamorus) wants and needs more from me, but I just can't do anything right. I'm a bad mom, a bad friend, bad gf/wife, bad employee. I have a sharp object in my purse, thankfully it's all the way down by the offices and I can't leave my area without the ok from my leads. That and I don't have anything to provide first aid with like I usually do, so it wouldn't be fun to deal with at all. I'm really trying to stay clean but it's just getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do.....