So I've started a new security post guarding a parking lot all night where I don't have to deal with people and basically I do hardly anything besides maintain a presence and patrol , and I feel incredible.

I enjoy coming to work and catching up on my games and hobbies. I play Pokémon go and Pokémon tcg during events on my time off , so these are definitely hobbies I look forward to while not working as to fill the void that working the night shift can create otherwise.

But originally I had the intention to increase my earning potential by doing an online class during my downtime at work and at home and I think I'm starting to feel like I just don't have the mental bandwidth for that..

Mental bandwidth = motivation, processing and retaining abilities regarding learning new information and applying it in different ways.

I have a hard time maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and sometimes taking care of myself in general due to my adhd and depression. So at least a few days of the week I'm pretty tired mentally. So my time of just not having to do anything complicated or demanding just feels ideal. As I feel overwhelmed pretty easily and have to push myself the rest of the week just to maintain some sort of normalcy.

So I have a coach that was pushing me to try and get new skills and a better paying career that I'll actually enjoy. But right now I'm actually enjoying this. Originally the thought was that maybe I could find a stable romantic relationship with a higher paying job and more passion for my career. But I'm not sure if I'm capable of that honestly, at least not right now. I exist and survive on a humble paycheck and have my own apartment and car. That may not be much to most, but for me it's an accomplishment.

So being able to hold that down without hating my job is why I work at night despite all the people always trying to convince me otherwise.