My first post ever, but i needed to put into words what i saw and felt in my dream last night.

Tiny bit of backstory, I am a recovering alcoholic, and when you get off the sauce, a common occurence is for your dreams to become much more vivid. In my case they became a lot more violent and visceral, but this the first one ive ever had where i was activly involved in what happened, and not just watching it unfold like a movie.

It started similarly to what you would consider a basic cartel film. I was told by a man I didnt recognise, but knew was in charge (if that makes sense) that I had until the end of the day to move some 'products' from his yard, and that if I couldnt find a buyer, then they would kill me. The sudden fear i felt was palpable. Something inside me knew that thats exactly what would happen, and that i had no chance of achieving the goal. He then sent me away, with 5 men, again none of whom i recognised but were cleadly familiar with me, talking to me like i was an old friend.

We got in a car, and drove to a site in the town I presently live in, which is not rural but we have bushland around us. Its not a long drive to get out to farming communities etc. I remember wondering why the hell we were out here, and that there would be noone I could sell to here. The 5 men all continued chatting non chalantly to me, as if we had known each other for years, but i never replied. Finally, one of them, an older man, turns to me and basically says "You know you never had a chance, right?"

At this point, a feeling of resignation and despair just washed over me, like I had purposefully been set up to fail. They knew I couldnt do it, and I realised they were only there to make sure I didnt try and run.

They then take me to another location, which oddly enough resembled an abandoned shopping strip. I remember distinctly there was an old Pizza Hut (Weird detail to notice).

One of the younger men then put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Its time, man."

I remember being in tears but being as collected as I could, and asked if I could at least call my mum and tell her I loved her. The mans face gave me a look of what was almost pity, and just said "No".

Two of the men then put me on my knees and held my arms behind me, almost in a crucifix style. The younger man stood to the side, took out what seemed like a long pair of shiny silver scissors, and put them at my kneck. He said one last thing to me.

"It wont take long."

Then he sliced my throat. I saw the blood shoot out of my neck and felt the blade against my skin. They released my arms, and I tried to stop the bleeding, but i couldnt seem to move my arms or hands. I remember as my eyes were closing, i had a terrible realisation that it was my daughters birthday tomorrow. (Which in itself is even more fucked because it is my daughters birthday today, and I had this dream last night.)

I woke up suddenly as my eyes closed in the dream, and I remember feeling ice cold. Like there was no blood circulating in my legs or arms. This went away quickly as I regained my equilibrium, but yeah.

So there you have it. My first ever reddit post ever, about what is possibly my most fucked up dream ever 😅