I just wanna kill myself for what I've done. so like... my boyfriend got an internship in my college to stay with me over the summer and my boyfriend came to my college to meet me and he was living in a hall he's not accommodated in, and the officials got to know about it, and they were grilling him since morning, and they called his parents and they came here to pick him and they got to know that he's come to my college for me. he has hickey and i was involved with the officials too, so it's not difficult to figure it out yk... i just want him to be alright do you think he will be? and like... his parents know that he's staying in the hall he's not accommodated in, it was actually alright till his parents got to know about me. cos I was involved with the officials, and he has a fucking hickey and i called him when his phone is with his mom and i had to talk to her.

that happened, so what do you think his situation would be like? i think he'll leave me, do you think he'll leave me? or like... maybe it'll be fine when he goes back to college? his parents have given him a lot of freedom and their trust is broken now. he's a very nice dude, he wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for me, i hate myself he wouldn't be living there if I didn't ask him to come, everything is my fault, I've ruined my life myself, it was perfectly fine yesterday, everything went wrong in a few hours, i can never forgive myself for all of this, and idk what to do, I literally just wanna kms, idk how to fix this, i feel so guilty, and a few cuts aren't making me sane, i just wanna go deep with every cut i make and end it all, what do I do now, idk what to do, idk what will happen, idk how he is, idk what awaits tomorrow, i just don't want a tomorrow, i can't sleep, if i sleep i wanna sleep forever, he's such a nice person, kind and empathic and patient, the past days I've been with him... they're the best days of my life, idk if i can have them again, idk, my heart physically hurts, everything is my fault, idk if he'll forgive me, he's so nice that he won't hate me after all this shit.