First off, this is my wife’s acct. my phones charging but I wanted to get some insight. I’m a new medic, 9 months deep and a fairly white cloud in both of the areas I’ve worked in. I’ve had a lot of trauma calls so far, but most are meemaw falling down and breaking a hip and the occasional MVA. A few more serious ones sprinkled in there as well, but last night I had my worst one yet. End of a long 24hr shift, 13 patient contacts down (way busier day than normal) and at about 3am (2 hours before quitting time) we get dispatched for a train vs ped. I don’t want to get too far into the details, but I felt alone on scene. Flight declined due to weather, my emr partner is brand new and didn’t know what to do to help besides basic vitals, and I had a long 45 minute transport with him to our level 1 trauma. He was in a bad way and still conscious. I did what I could for him and kept him awake. He made it to the trauma bay alive, but I can’t help but think I could’ve done better or done more. I’m struggling with that thought and the images of how badly he was mangled. Trauma surgeons said it was the worst they’ve seen. I don’t have a therapist set yet but I’m trying to get one. In the meantime are there any coping skills or resources out there that you’d guys recommend? Thank you for your time.