To mongoose or not to mongoose

Hello everyone, just joined the page. Have recently gotten back into skating, although I have skated for 10 plus years, I still consider myself a beginner in regards to tricks and skating ramps etc

Now each time I come back to skating over the years, I do get better, although progress has definitely slowed down now I’m in my late 20s and trips to A&E have increased 😂😂

Now, a few years ago when I got back into skating I made a mindful effort to stop pushing mongoose as this is something I had always done as a bad habit. I will admit, the main reason I tried to unlearn it was because it didn’t want other to think I was a poser or didn’t know what I was doing 😂

Now, here’s the thing, I can push both ways now, normal and mongoose, however it’s still really sketch when I push normal and I can never get very much speed

Now, when I skate at a park, I don’t push that much, so it doesn’t really matter, as pushing normal is good for trick placement for feet, as it’s one extra movement your feet have to do to get set up

I feel like a lot of my motivation to stop pushing like this is so I don’t look like an idiot in front of other skaters, but I mean, do I really care? I guess I don’t know I’m a bit older and have a bit thicker skin 😂

So my question is, do I continue to attempt to unlearn how I push like I did a few years ago (which I still feel is sketch AF tbh 🛹🙃)

Or shall I just stop over thinking it and just skate how I want haha