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Feeling like I'm Losing It
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My son is 5 weeks old and while he's otherwise a chill baby, there are just some nights where he refuses to sleep.

Last night was one of those nights. I am so sleep deprived and I found myself just resenting him so much for "not letting me sleep."

I finally cracked after hours of failed attempts to put him to sleep and begged my mom to please take him for a while. I cried myself to sleep and was able to sleep for an hour or two before my mom came back give him to me for a feed.

I still feel on edge today. I'm worried I may have PPD, but I'm not sure if I'm just extremely exhausted. I just find it so difficult to imagine any of this gets better.

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Baby sleep was a huge trigger for me. I spent a lot of time creating schedules, watching wake windows, making sure to "set the foundations for independent sleep." I guess it paid off as she started sleeping through the night at 12 weeks but I feel like I shouldn't have put so much pressure on the situation and gone with the flow a bit better. It does get better 98% of the time. She rarely refuses a nap or bed time. It does happen, but they fall in their own natural rhythm and eventually the naps extend, and they have a bed time that works for them (ours is 6:30pm). Also, good on you for asking for help, I didn't, and if I could go back I would have gotten more support on those days/nights of her refusing to sleep.

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Posted
3 years ago