I guess I can start. My bike got stolen in the French quarter while I was eating lunch.. I walked around and found it locked to a pole a few blocks away, "yay!" So I found an NOPD and asked if he had bolt cutters in his car. Not Our Problem Dude; He accused me of actually being an exceedingly clever bike thief plotting to enlist him to steal someone's else's bike. I offered to show him pics of me riding the bike on my phone but he lost interest and forbid me from attempting to recover my -- or was it their?! -- bike. I walked to a hardware store, I forget what one, bought some bolt cutters, liberated my bike which was still locked to the pole, and rode it home.