Recently I have come across many success stories, particularly about people on an SP journey. It reminded me when I was reading success stories in the past in any Neville group here on Reddit. I think I cannot recall a single success story where the person did not “give up” or “detach” from their desire. I’ve read many long posts, and when I finally get to the bottom, the last paragraph will describe how they found someone new, and when they came back they didn’t even want them anymore anyway. What’s the point of having a desire if it seems necessary to not want it anymore when it comes in?

I see that many Neville based teachers use the word “attachment”, but really I think they should be using the word “lack” to describe what they mean. It’s supposed to be the doubts and negative thoughts that are keeping desires away. I do not recall Neville talking about this, and I don’t want to have to get to a place of indifference to have my desires. Desires are supposed to be enjoyable and fulfilling, not something you need to play hard to get with in order to keep. Even if that were the case, where are those desires now? The old crushes I had a desire for, but am now completely indifferent to, why aren’t they here? The objects I have a desire for and that I can truly go the rest of my life not having them and not care at all, where are they?

Is it not truly about living in the end, doing SATS and being in the state of the wish fulfilled from a confident place after all? Doesn’t detachment come from living in the end so consistently that you let go of the lack rather than having to let go of the entire thing and “giving up” before you get to the end? Am I wrong and this is a necessary step that I’m not ready to take? It makes me wonder, has anyone personally had success or seen success where you or they didn't need to give up?