I'm probably too old to even be here. I'm a 30something with the maturity of a teenager, thanks to Asperger's syndrome or high functioning autism. Sounds fancy, but I got all the disadvantages of it without any of the so-called advantages. Except maybe being good enough in written communication.
I have to admit that I am failing in real life. My online friends love me but they don't know how to help with real problems like learning social skills and getting a job. Nobody wants an old person who isn't tech savvy and can't talk to people. Both professionally and relationship-wise. Sucks being born too different.

ASD stereotypes include being good with computers or having special talents like in math, art or music. I don't have any of those. I'm not emotionally stiff or uncaring - after all, I'm still a girl. And I've been socialized too heavily to develop any special interests for myself. Been in and out of school my whole life, just barely coping. I have no marketable enough skills to make up for the fact that I can't talk for a job interview.

I did have a job for a while (1 1/2 years) but the experience was traumatic as a whole; I can't really talk about it much. It just made me realize that I really have no place to go. Even if I went back to school and got multiple degrees, PhDs, whatever. People won't take me seriously no matter how hard I try or how smart I get; I have no credibility whatsoever. I thought people would respect and accept me if I just tried hard and was nice but that was just a lie. It all boils down to being one of them, and I'm not.

Maybe I should suck it up and work doing things I hate, for people who don't care, just to be normal somehow.
Or maybe I should get used to the fact that I'll never be good enough for anybody, and I'll always be alone. Maybe close off to everyone else and just focus on myself, find my own interest for once, this late in the game. Do my own thing, before I die of hunger or something similar.