Yeah, you read that right. This is already my fourth attempt haha. I think i need to be more specific this time :(

This post is gonna be REALLY long, so please read all of it if you really are interested :(

Also, DONT JUST COMMENT SAYING THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED, PLS DM ME HAHAHA

I divided this post into 6 parts

1. My story
2. Who and what am i?
3. Who and what i am looking for?
4. What can i offer u?
5. Additional Questions
6. Extra Messages

So first of all: My story

Ever since i was young, i was that weird but kind and innocent kid by the corner. I find it kinda funny that despite my weird personality, i never experienced getting bullied. In fact, people would even do good things to me, making sure that i am okay with everything. It is probably because of my kind-hearted nature and the way i interact with everybody. I also had friends and colleagues back then.

But 11th grade started, and everyone started to fade. I did meet good ppl in 11th grade, but my anxiety became so strong that i started to think that they secretly dislike me, causing me to distant myself from them..

12th grade felt empty, lonely, and hollow. I can't seem to connect with anyone. I feel that im too different.. It is then i realized that, being kind to others does not guarantee friendship in return. But i kept my hopes up. College is another chance to make friends. So after graduation, i applied in a university, and thankfully, i got accepted.

My university is basically filled with gay guys (prob 95% is gay), which for me is good since i am gay myself. I honestly thought that i would finally feel that i truly belong somewhere since i am finally with people who are similar to me, not to mention the university only caters to a single profession, so if there is a place for me to meet likeminded people, it is THIS place. But what happened was the complete opposite.

I have never felt misplaced in my entire life. I feel so distant and different to anyone in the uni. Can you believe that i used to eat my lunch in the restrooms? do take note that this is already college. I can't believe that i will ever experience that, ESPECIALLY IN COLLEGE. But i remained strong. I was able to finish 1st year without a single friend. Weirdly enough, i actually enjoyed it. But second year started, and a lot of things happened. I then realized that, at the age of 20, i am alone, no friends, and have no social life. I started overthinking.. I want things to change, so i reached out to this sub months ago, hoping to find a genuine friend.

And i did meet some people here. However, most of them didn't last, and the one's that i thought would last for a lifetime left after a few months.

Im starting to think that socializing in the real world is seemingly easier than socializing in discord or reddit. It feels like everything here is meant to end, and that's just deeply upsetting tbh...

But i am still hoping to find someone here. And i hope it's you, dear reader :)

Next: Who and what am i?

A LONELY INTROVERTED BTCH

I mean, are u even surprised? hahaha ofc im lonely and dont have any real life friends. If i had some, i wouldn't be here :(

A GAMER IN A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY

I love playing games, whether it is on mobile or pc. But since my laptop is garbage and the internet connection in my country is trash, i only play single player games now on my laptop ಥ‿ಥ

But i still play Brawl stars on mobile, so there's that haha. If u want, u can recommend me some online co-op games for mobile so we can play together (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

DEF NOT STRAIGHT

Yeah, Im gay :/

DOESN'T HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF MY PHONE

Im online pretty much all the time since i dont have any huge stuff to do. I usually just do chores and sht then just hang out with my phone the entire day. Oh, and also cook rice because Asian thingz are like that 😎

GETS ATTACHED PRETTY QUICKLY

U showed me a bit of kindness? well worry not, cuz now i will never let u go HAHAHHA... But it is exhausting to invest emotions on someone who can't give the same love back.

yeah, i get attached very quickly, but if u show any sign that u are no longer interested in our convos, then Bye, i guess :(

SOCIAL SKILLS ARE IN THE BIN

Yep. I mean, i can try ofc 🥺 I hope u dont mind this. I could always try my best to make our convos interesting. And if we truly click, then I WILL DO MY VERY BEST FOR U TO BE INTERESTED IN OUR CONVO HAHA

DISCORD BABY

I prefer discord tbh. Chatting in reddit feels clunky af.

VOICE CALLS? UHHHHH...

Im insecure with my own voice. English is also not my native language, so it is very difficult for me to talk. Not to mention that i am socially awkward lmaoooo.

but if we became comfortable with one another, then maybe someday we can try voice calls ლ(^oლ) just don't expect much

OVERTHINKER

Idk i just want to point this out. It really saddens me when ppl dont talk to me for days. It makes me think that they dislike me or something :( i know u have a life outside of our friendship, but damn haha. overthinking is exhausting..

Third part: Who and what am I looking for?

A DAILY DOSE OF HAPPINESS

Cmon. im pretty sure u also want atleast one person that u can talk to every single day. Let's give each other company so we can feel less lonely everyday! ❤️

AGE?

20-35 ig :) i prefer older people because they are more mature and open minded

LONG TERM. I REPEAT. LONG TERM

I dislike short term friendships. I dont want to be your temporary distraction. If you're just bored, pls look for someone else. Thank you :) i want a friendship that will last for years, and even a lifetime!

A PERSON THAT I CAN SHARE RANDOM SHT WITH

I heard a song that i liked, so I'll send it to u. I saw a cute pic of a dog, imma send it. Im bored... here's a pic of me as a lemon in snap

LET'S TALK AND SHARE ABOUT ANYTHING ❤️

A FELLOW LONELY GAY GUY

Lmaooo we lonely gays have to stick together 🤣 We can talk about cute boys and such HAHAHAHA. Just no pervy stuff okay?

Wait, u aren't gay? oh that's okay :) friendship is not defined by sexuality and gender anyways.

ASIAN UWU

I live in the Philippines. So if you're close, then that's great!

However, I dont actually mind if u live somewhere else in asia or even somewhere in the world, but i just like the idea of meeting up someday and hanging out.

Like, can u imagine? awkward and anxious internet friends finally meeting each other for the first time? AAAAHHHHH THAT WOULD BE THE BEST!

A KIND SOUL

Words mean a lot to me. Say that i am sweet? im gonna take that to the grave❤️. Say that im stupid? imma think of it til the day our convo dies 🥺 and maybe even beyond that...

Let's be kind to one another. Being honest is good tho, but pls, let us be gentle.

A FELLOW LONELY SOUL

I think one of the many reasons why most people can easily let go of strangers here is that they actually have friends outside of Reddit, Discord, etc.

So if they have other people to lean on, losing one stranger is not a big deal...

But it is to me. it sooo does.

If you are truly lonely just like me, then u would know how it feels like to value a connection that u have with someone, even if it is only a connection made in reddit/discord.

A PERSON WHO CAN GIVE THE SAME LOVE BACK

I despise cold replies. I won't point it out when we talk since i know not everyone is good in convos, i myself is horrible at it, but i just want you to atleast try, because i myself is also trying to not be cold and dry :)

Fourth part: What can I offer you?

A FRIEND FOR LIFE

If we click, i just wanna say that i am already your friend for the rest of your life. I got your back, homie! i will never leave u

A KIND VOICE

U feel down? or just want to open up something? im here. i would never just leave u behind. I got your back, homie ❤️ I dont give the best advice, but i can always try my best to make u feel better. That's what friends are for.

HORRIBLY DRAWN DOODLES

I used to draw doodles to ppl. I actually stopped because some ppl dont appreciate them. But i am willing to draw for u again, stranger 🥺 Just doodles with words like "Good Morning" or "Dont forget to smile". It ain't much, but i just want u to know how much i care for u, and this is my way of showing it.

A PERSON U CAN TALK TO EVERYDAY ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

I know u want this kind of ppl HAHAHHA. Well, here i am!!!!

Omg i love this part: Additional Questions

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE 3 ATTEMPTS? DID I FIND ANYONE?

Well, yes. I found ppl that i can talk to from time to time. They are kind and sweet, too. But... I guess they are already fading..

HOW MANY FAILED CONVOS DID I FACE EXACTLY?

Im not even sure lmaooo. 1st attempt brought 20 dms 2nd attempt brought 20 dms again 3rd attempt brought 18 dms

HOW MANY STAYED?

ummm... like, 4 i guess? idk. But out of those 4, i am actually only able to talk to 1 of them daily, but our chats dont even last that long 🥺

WHY DID THEY LEAVE ME? IS IT MY FAULT OR THEIRS?

I guess it is both.

Sometimes, i just abandon a convo if neither one of us is enjoying the chat.

Ppl also tend to ghost and not respond after a while

But i guess majority of those ppl disappeared because NEITHER one of us wanted to initiate a convo. Like, yes, we enjoy each other's company, but no one wants to make the first move. So both me and the stranger just waits for the other to say "Hi", but neither one of us did, so the convo died 🥺

DO I REPLY FAST?

i cant really give a concrete answer to this. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I also have to do the boring adult responsibilities, yknow? also college is demanding..

ARE THERE ANY TOPICS THAT I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT?

yes...Relationships. I've been single since birth, and im starting to think that the lovey dovey stuff isnt for me, so talking about those topics make me feel sad and envious.

I mean, if u opened that topic, then i will respond to it, but i just want u to know now that im uncomfortable talking about those stuff :(

WILL OUR FRIENDSHIP WORK IF U DM ME?

Are u willing to make it work? 🥺👉👈 do u want it to work?

because for me, i want it to work but it also depends on u :)

DO WE NEED TO HAVE SIMILAR INTERESTS?

it actually does not matter to me if we dont have any similar interests.

Having similar interests is just a bonus factor

CAN U TRUST ME? HOW CAN I PROVE THAT IM NOT A CREEP?

Well, i dont really know any way to prove that i am not a creep, EXCEPT for my profile.

As u can see, im not using a throwaway account, so just stalk me and sht (i dont recommend it tho since you'll just see how sad and depressing my life is lmaoo)

Since im not using a throwaway account, you can already assume that u can trust me more than those that dont use their actual accounts. Im not saying that you can't trust them tho. Im pretty sure they have their reasons for not using their real accounts

WHY IS YOUR POST SO LONG?

I need to be specific on what i want on a friend.

Getting 20 dms is good and all, but i rather only get 3 dms that seemingly fit the criteria than receiving 100 dms that will die after 30 minutes of talking lmaoo

YOU WANT TO DM ME EVEN IF YOU DONT FIT THE CRITERIA?

Sure :) dm me if you want haha..

Just make sure that you are aiming for a long term connection, and not just a short term one :/ i hate short term connections

Extras:

If you want to have me as a friend, then you also have to try to make the friendship work. Friendship is a two way thing, dude. Just try :)

I dont believe that one could run out of things to talk about that will eventually lead to a friendship's end. Every day that passes is a new story to tell! share it with me! I'll share mine to you as well! No matter how small, no matter how seemingly insignificant, I WANT TO HEAR THEM.

Let's say, we became friends, but then we lost touch and haven't talked for a month. Do not worry! im still here! say a simple "Hi" and I will respond ASAP.

I will not tolerate insults. Friendly teasing is fine tho

You can add me directly in discord! coby#7800

I hope you read the entire thing, dude :) i would really appreciate it if you did.

Love, A fellow stranger