I honestly thought virtual people can fill the emptiness and loneliness that i am enduring, but it seems like they are just making it worse...

I miss Derick, my real life best friend.

As an anti-social, introverted, and anxious individual, i never felt like i fit anywhere, but Derick befriended me despite my undesirable qualities. And you know what's funny? even tho we dont have ANYTHING in common (besides adoration for arts in elementary, but i gave up on art upon reaching highschool), he still stayed and remained as my best friend.

And what i adored the most about him is that he never gets tired of enduring my introverted ass. If there is a school event, he would invite me to go, and even if i refuse to go and made up millions of excuses, he will still convince me to go because he wants me to be there and have a good time. If he is gonna hang out with his other friends, he will find a way so that i can also come and fit in. Like, wow, i never thought i had such a wonderful friend. How did i not see all of it?

I have always claimed that i never received a genuine hug from anyone, but recently, i remembered our highschool graduation...

Before the ceremony ends, he hugged me, with his eyes filled with tears, expressing how much he's going to miss me when we are already living our own lives. I treated that hug as if it was just a joke, but now, i realize that it was, in fact, the only genuine hug that i ever received in my entire life.

I had always thought that he was just another regular colleague, but damn, HOW.DID.I.BECOME.SO.BLIND.

The last time i saw him was in a Mall, talking to his new friend. I thought he was just gonna smile or ignore me, but he even introduced me to his friend as his "Best friend"

...

After all these years, how was he able to appreciate me? i was never a good friend. I have no idea how lucky i was to have met him...

If i were to turn back time, i wouldve spent all of my highschool life with him. I would've went to all of the events, went to all of their hangouts, and have done everything to cherish his presence...

But it is already too late. I could never hang out with him again since we are now living our own separate lives.

I gonna turn 21 tomorrow. Normally, he would greet me and say his greetings, but im not sure if he's still gonna do it now. We have not spoken to each other in a year...

I guess i wanted to share this experience to let you all know that the friends that u have now are beyond special, whether they are friends in the internet or friends in the real life. Do not waste time. Enjoy your time with them. Hangout if you can. Turn your misunderstandings into laughter. The world will become more harsh as you get older, and holding unto the hands of your friends can make life a little bit more worthwhile.

Value them. Hug them once this pandemic is over, and make sure it is a genuine one, too!

You have no idea how lucky u are to have someone by your side. Don't waste time.

Love, a lonely stranger.