Well one friend did. He was very supportive and stayed with me for an hour or two. Here I am now, I'm 24, I haven't touched a sip of liqour and I'm all alone on reddit.

To be fair, I made the facebook event this past wednesday so it was a little late timing, but I had told several people whom I consider good friends to come to my house on the 29th to celebrate my birthday. I'm blessed to be a leap-year baby, so I literally don't even get a real birthday until once every four years. I FINALLY turn 6 after 24 years of life...all my good friends, none of them actually give a shit at all.

I'm sitting here trying to rationalize it all. Is it karma? Is it fate? Is this a dip just before it gets better? What's the deal? I feel like I got cheated dude. The truth is that I've been going through some mental distress in 2019, and haven't seen many of my friends often. It was a rare occasion that anyone bothered to set anything up. Everyone is out doing their own thing, going to school, starting a career, and even getting married.

Where am I at now? I'm 24, but I'm still single, I've gotten fat; last year I used to be super thin and fairly attractive to most women (or gay men) AND now I barely ever talk to anyone. I have a bachelors degree in accounting coupled with a minor in philosophical ethics. I'm musically talented, and I'm fairly intelligent. Many people have told me I'm a good conversationalist. But here I am, the pathetic slob I've become, wasting my life living in a college town with people who are in college, with a degree in my hand and a thumb up my ass, doing nothing but smoking pot, working lyft, working out, or sleeping, none of which are in any particular order but nothing ever changes. No exciting adventures, no cool girlfriend, no loads of friends and parties. And it's all because of me. I'm making changes to better myself, but I'm still in the process. I'm just wondering, did I really fuck up THAT bad last year that no one could make room for one night at my house? Literally, everyone I asked had told me they were either working, got called into work, or had something the next morning to wake up for. But a week ago they had said that they were going to come. Someone PLEASE tell me, am I just being hysterical for no good reason? Is the Pisces in me truly showing or what? Or do I just have shitty friends? What the honest fuck?

Fuck my life. I honestly want to be done with it. I really see no value in life the suffering far outweighs the pleasure at least in my experience so far, and I'm getting REALLY down and in on myself. I feel like I did something to make all my friends hate me.