I was in a 9-year relationship with the woman that I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life we separated to a little over two and a half years ago because of some reason I have no idea I asked her to this day and she says she don't know but she she's not wanting to try another relationship with me for some reason we've had sex within the last month and it confused the fuck out of me because I love her she is the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life and I tell her this I told her how much I love her how much I care for her and all that does is call her to get mad like she she does things to make me upset and lose my shit and I end up being I guess a little rude and I don't mean to be and I apologize for it because she know just what to do to set me off and I love her so I apologize and I try to make it up before I do try to do things for but she won't let me do anything for well when she does let me do something for her she doesn't appreciate it doesn't matter like I don't fucking matter and she just uses me she tells me what I want to hear so she can get what she want and my fucking retarded for loving a woman like that I feel like I am but I can't get her out of my head I love her so fucking much like she's the mother of my four children but she says she doesn't have anything for me no love no care no nothing and I don't see how you can have a 9-year relationship and just lose everything just like that cuz I've tried and I've tried and I've tried I've done multiple things I've got done thing for that she she wants and I still get nothing out in return like when we had sex with last month she was talking about wanting to try to get back with me but now that they're completely gone and she doesn't even want to try and I don't know I didn't do anything I asked for what I did and she says he don't know she just doesn't want to but it's impossible for me to just stop I don't know how I'm trying to talk to other women I can't even talk to other women because I can't get her out of my head I just don't I feel uncomfortable talking to other women because she's the only one I want I try to tell her that and it doesn't matter to her like she dumped the four kids on me I have all four of them I've been taking care of them for a few weeks now I've had three of them for a few months and I'm not worried about the kids I'm just worried about her like she's going from guy to guy and she's like not thinking right she'd been fucking doing shit that's hell fucked up she lied three of us or that she would fucking me fucking the feather dude and fucking the other dude and then we all found out and she got all fucking like freaked out like she's going to be fucking yeah I'm upset she would lie to me but she's been lying to me for years I just can't stand the lying I don't want that in my life I don't want that My kid's life but I love her and I can't stop loving her and I just maybe there's someone on here that could talk to me and help me get understanding like am I fucking retarded please tell me I feel like it though