Hey Reddit, hope everyone's doing well this Friday evening :)

As the title says, I've been struggling to find the support I need from my friends quite a bit lately, and I guess things have gotten bad enough that I don't feel like I can even talk to them about this stuff anymore without getting shunned further. I'll admit that I struggle with my mental health a lot (yes, I already have a therapist, and yes, I'm already on medication), and I know exactly how trite, pointless, irritating, insignificant, and irrational the thoughts my subconscious throws at me are to deal with (especially for others), but I guess I'd hoped that after investing as much thought and energy and love as I have at least one of them would want to support me in my own times of need, y'know? I get that people are busy and have their own stuff going on - that's just life - but why is it that they'll drop everything to help one another, but suddenly it's a bridge too far when I need someone to vent to, or dating advice, or just to be around another human so I don't have to be alone for the umpteenth night in a row? Are deeply unreliable friends the norm for everyone else, or do I just have abysmal taste in people? Are my expectations too high? (hint: almost certainly, but in what ways?) Is it normal that so many people are entirely averse to communication, and I'm just too much of a sensitive bitch for them to want to deal with me? How come it feels like everyone says they care about me and my well-being, but when I'm in need none of them are around to help me? If they really care about our friendship and are willing to invest in it, how come it always feels like pulling teeth to carry a conversation or organize a night out with them?

To be clear, I don't expect anyone to have answers to these questions - they're largely rhetorical - but I could really use a friend who wouldn't mind providing some honest insight and opinion to help me work through some of this stuff, or heck, even just someone to meet and get to know who wouldn't mind me venting a bit. Even better if you're willing to stick around a bit and maybe build a friendship - goodness knows I could use all the supportive friends I can get!