And for that reason, anytime I ever come close to trying to tell someone about it, it comes out as a confession.

In short, for me, the ultimate lifestyle with a partner would be sort of D/s with me on the sub side, but pretty much as follows:

• he gets blowjobs on demand as an enforced rule, with morning head preferably included

• in return, I'm gifted his cum to drink and enjoy

• my orgasms simply don't matter (to either of us, and there's no reason beyond "this is what I'd prefer)

Past this, I actually find myself excited when I've got a partner and they just expect domestic things out of me. I'm the girl that would literally hear "go make me a sandwich" on like the 3rd date and would feel like I should go make that gentleman a sandwich. Food prep, cleaning, all domestic things would be enforced as well.

And if blowjobs-on-demand aren't enough for his sexuality, there's a (large) possibility that I can be talked into anal, but I'd very much want my reward to still end up in my mouth.

It's probably not a good idea for me to get started talking about my cum fetish.

Plenty of guys say they'd like this. Few really do even talk about it with me without major compromises expected immediately. Plenty of guys say they wouldn't be into this. I respect that.

I know the other half that makes each other whole is out there. For now, it's just a dirty, naughty confession - because, again, no one who knows me well beyond maybe my best friend and an ex-roommate (besides true ex's, but even they likely don't know the extent) would have any clue that this'd be my hope at a glance.

It's like I get to constantly blend in. Don't have a problem with blending in, but I hope I'm visible enough to the person who is also looking for me. Thankfully for all of us, there's porn in the meantime?