My first hateful fuck was a long time ago. He fingered me without asking. Groped my tits, exposed my panties, shoved his tongue in my mouth. All in broad daylight at a public park. I didn't even realize it was hateful fuck  but a therapist did. There have been two or three other times. Last year a porn videographer made out with me while I was cornered in his times square apartment, then he went down on me. While I was fucked up on 1000 mlg weed. All without asking of course. My ex dealer took out his cock when I was blackout drunk and alone with him in a hotel room, he made me give him a hand job while I cried. A different man (married this time) videoed me fucking him, without asking, and slipped the condom off without asking, while I was drunk. The last one was my favorite. It's perverse to say but it's true. We all like what we like and he was closest to my type. I believe I have tried to post in depth versions of these stories on here before... but well, it didn't work out.

I wonder if the first time made me a hateful fuck  slut or it was always in me. Something else happened, an even longer time ago, that I strongly suspect was the nail in the coffin... at least when it comes to the darker side of my dark fantasies, like choking . But we all know that it's impossible to say. Anyways the two hateful fuck s last year ended up breaking my brain. I ended up in am mental hospital, using my young, petite body to hateful fuck  bait doctors. I did this by showering like 5-6 times, and waltzing around without bras or underwear. I got myself fucked up on as much meds as they offered, and they offer a lot in those places, to make them feel even more comfortable assuming I would not fight back. It was addicting. The thought of a sexy doctor rendering me into his human flesh light. I tried to get a random man from a dating app to visit me and break the hospital's no touching policy, in order to lure them into a punishment fuck. Unfortunately his account got hacked so it failed. 

There's a lot of ways to hateful fuck  bait. Some are more explicit. Ive been posting here since I was 18 years old. Id drop hints, photos too. So that if someone knew me IRL they mayyy be able to connect the dots. If I was feeling really drunk or bold Id even tell people what college I was residing in (at the time, I have since graduated, moved back home.) God it was a big rush, taking out the trash alone in the dark, knowing internet strangers with hateful fuck  kinks, knew where I was and could show up.  I always end up confessing my hateful fuck  kink to partners or prospectives, when Im drunk. And I kinda sorta, do love to get drunk or high or both. Then there's the subtle ways. One is risk taking behavior. Letting a man I just met drive me home. Or or long runs alone at night, posting nudes online, you get the point. I made a penpal from my hateful fuck  baiting, the only one who was able to figure out my true identity. He shared my hateful fuck  and choking  kink. He was married too, successful, clean cut and polished on the outside. And on the inside, well, he had darkness and I do too. He ended up disappearing and I ended up fantasizing about using the photos of his family to track him down and force his hand. Provoke him to act on those fantasies. But the photos are long gone. Provoking people is another way I consciously or even subconsciously hateful fuck  bait, I suppose. Like when I said weird, mean stuff to a hot CEO who had a threesome with me. I was hoping he'd track me down and punish fuck me... maybe even leave my body in a ditch after.... if I'm being honest, just between us.

I work at a big tech company now. And its in a area with a lot of finance bros. Ive only just started but I already dress more feminine and show more skin than most who work there. God I can't help but wish a superior would force me into being hateful fuck d, maybe a promotion or two would take the sting off. I have a very creative mind, lots of fantasies. My mind still goes back to old reddit penpals. They are still out there. They could find me. Fuck me. Choke me. Beat the shit out of me. My old married penpal, the one who knows my name, he broke a girl's nose and that was with her consent. So, the thought of what he'd do to his hateful fuck , choking  princess. Woof. I can't be the only one who feels this way. A genuine hateful fuck  victim with an addiction they cant shake.