Interview: One-on-one with u/buttsforpm

^{IN CONVERSATION WITH JAMES JAMESONSON}

POLITICAL figures come and go. I should know. My first political expose was as a young lad whose job it was to administer insulin injections to David Syme at the Age. I had just put his coke in his tea when all of a sudden I heard a high-pitched woman's voice squealing. As I turned around to see what all the commotion was, I saw Sir Earle Page running out of the anteroom wearing a woman's dress! Oh, it was certainly a site, it was! Mr Syme was so impressed with my story, he had it printed on the first page of the gossip section, just under a marvelous piece about a Mr Charles Darwin being a closeted homosexual. Now back then, Sir Earle was just plain old Mr Page, but it was clear after that fiasco that he would go far in Canberra.

But alas, that's another story.

With experience like myself, you develop an almost psychic-like ability to predict who will go places in political life, and who will be crushed under the weight of the Canberra bubble. Indeed, it was yours truly who predicted the disappearance of Mr Holt! Indeed, I may very well have been the cause of Mr Holt's disappearance! I was at Cheviot Beach one morning back in '67 with a good mate of mine called Alan. While I was in the water, I was suddenly kicked in the ribs by some tosser not looking where he was going. Well, I certainly gave him a good walloping that morning!

The current lot we have in Canberra are a truly miserable lot. But I often see that fellow with that fine beard on the telly, and I think to myself what a future prime minister that chap looks like. I was pleased to sit down with this young fellow, u/buttsforpm, over that Speed computer video thing. Certainly a young man with a bright future ahead of him!

My lovely secretary Meredith was very kind to transcribe the interview below.

J: You have previously been a high-profile Liberal senator before you left the party to join the newly-formed Commonwealth Party. What factors made you do this?

b: Well, I made an entire press piece explaining why I had left the Liberals to join the Commonwealth Party. You can read it if you want, but essentially, a disrespectful and insensitive leadership group who would call me insults such as an 'autistic child' and an overall toxic culture in the party forced me to leave. I thought it was time for a new challenge, and that's why I joined the Commonwealth Party, a party that doesn't bully, torment and treat their members with absolute disrespect like the Liberals.

J: When politicians join new parties - particularly senators - there is often a bit of blowback within the community over whether you should stay in parliament or resign and recontest under the new party banner. You've opted to stay in the senate. Do you think this was appropriate given many who voted for you would have only voted for you as you were on the Liberal ticket?

b: Australians may have voted for me when I was in the Liberal Party, but I'm fairly certain they wouldn't vote for the Liberals in its current state, which I took into consideration when I left them. The Commonwealth Party is a party on the rise, as shown by recent polling, and we are a party who is much more focused on the people of Australia and their priorities rather than the party politics of the current-day Liberals.

J: The Commonwealth Party, despite its short life, has already had a few ups and downs, particularly over the departure of your inaugural leader. Do you think you have what it takes, as leader now yourself, to keep your party together and potentially form government?

b: I absolutely do. My number one priority as leader, which we have always adhered to ever since the party was first registered, is to put our focus on the Australian people and real policy, rather than internal party matters. And James, it's not just me which defines our party, but it's our entire team. We have got such a fantastic bunch of people that growing in numbers, and as a team, I believe we can be a dangerous force at the next election.

J: Speaking of government, your party may very well find itself in the position to form a government after the next election, and you may find yourself one of a hand full of 'kingmakers'. What would your party seek in exchange for support, and are there any parties you would rule out working with?

b: If we were in the position to form government, we'd do it with the party who we think is offering the best plan for Australia. From that, we can probably rule out the Greens, however any party is on the table if they have sensible policy and a real plan for Australia.

J: Usually senators don't get asked about prime ministerial ambitions, although we have now had two prime ministers from the red house - including the current prime minister. Is the prime ministership something you may wish to attain?

b: That's up to the people of Australia. Obviously, I think most people in this country would want to become Prime Minister, like I always dreamed it as a kid, however the next government is solely up to the people of Australia to decide, and I do hope they choose the right choice next election with the Commonwealth Party. NR