Liberals to form 'radical' government 'even more progressive than the SDP'

^{BY THE HON LORD JAMES JAMESONSON, GOVERNOR OF THE BRITISH ANTARCTIC PENGUIN COLONY}

^{11 OCTOBER 2020 - 7.30PM}

AUSTRALIANS tonight have a new government after successful coalition negotiations between the Liberal Party and two independent MPs - u/Explosivo2002 in Sydney and u/Mad_Bear_O_Melbourne in Hotham.

Just before the new prime minister u/Griffonomics was sworn in, he released a statement thanking voters for their support, and noting that the Australian Democrats may too feature as part of the new government.

The final election results for the House of Representatives saw the Liberal Party win six seats, the SDP five seats, two independents, and one seat each for the Country Labor and Australian Democrats parties. In the Senate, the SDP were able to retain effective control of the red chamber, now holding a total of four seats against the two Liberals and one each for the Country Labor Party and Australian Democrats.

What was a surprise for many, however, was when the formerly centre-left Sydney MP and left-wing Hotham MP announced that they would take part in the right-wing Liberal government. Both have received cabinet positions in return.

The new prime minister, u/Griffonomics.

Speaking to the National Review, u/Mad_Bear_O_Melbourne announced that the government, despite being led by an avowed conservative and featuring a majority of conservative MPs, would be embarking on policies 'even more progressive than the SDP'.

'Griffo has personally apologised to me for his past, and we have put it behind ourselves to make some realistic and radical changes during these difficult times' the Hotham MP commented.

'Free University for households under $85,000, police reform and returning all deployed troops home by Christmas this year'.

Meanwhile, new Sydney MP u/Explosivo2002 stated they 'do not believe my personal views are antithetical to the Liberal Party.'

'I have come to agreement on a raft of policies that will help this nation in line with my views, and maintain an independent vote on almost all bills.'

This is despite, of course, Westminster convention making it clear that cabinet ministers should never vote against government policy.

A full list of cabinet members and positions is expected to be released in the near future. NR