24 days clean today. I’ve been with the same woman for a year and a half. This is a woman who would let me pick her up, and take her to the country dances. After a month and a half of the vicious cycle of using and getting clean over and over she doesn’t trust that I’m clean when I say I am, and doesn’t trust to get in a vehicle with me because she doesn’t know if I’m clean and sober. Honestly, it’s eating my lunch and I need help. I’ve talked to my sponsor about everyday and he says go to work and meetings. The rest will work itself out. The guilt, shame, and remorse is almost too much to bare and I’ve had so many small wins like finding stuff and tossing it, making it longer than 2 weeks, and keeping my word throughout it all. I’ve had to scratch and claw for every minute clean and I feel like it doesn’t mean anything to her.

I know I dug this hole, but how the hell do I begin to rebuild that trust? I’m lost and I need help