So I was addicted to cocaine for several years and went to rehab a year ago and two months was currently doing outpatient until recently.

Exactly 2 months ago right around my 1 year mark with being clean from cocaine, I was at my friends house and a girl offered me Adderall I accepted and purchased six more.

It happen so fast before before I knew it was full blown addiction. The Adderall keeps on popping me in and out of manic states with being bipolar. These manic states only last for a while but they are very addicting also.

The strange thing about this is things are going extremely will at work. I’m about we’re is use to be in market share. Before I got addicted to cocaine.

I am also violent and very hyper sexual. I cannot regulate my emotions and I’m very impulsive.

I have been staying away from friends and family at this time because I don’t know what I’m capable of. If you don’t want anyone to see me like this.

So basically running the streets at night, acting like a psychopath and going to work like a normal citizen in the day.

I start rehab again tomorrow and I’m very sad and feel Like a loser. I only lasted year and two months.

But there are things I am grateful for this time around.

I realize had a problem and I am seeking help quickly instead of taking years to realizes this

I did not get I am alive and have not got killed out kill anyone else, and I’m not in jail. I have not cause any damage in my life as of now.

Only a handful of people know that I relapsed and that is good and I’m thankful for that.

I haven’t ruined my life. barely spent any money because a friend kept on giving me Adderall for free.