Hey everyone, here's my story, So 19yrs ago I'm met what I thought was a wonderful women. She seemed to love me for me and showed me love, appreciation and what I thought was respect. She had one kid already with her soon to be ex at the time. She didn't talk about him like he was awful, just that he was lazy, and I'll have to admit he was, never keeping a job to pay his child support and and kind of really failed as a dad. Well over 8yrs we had three more wonderful children. About 7 yrs in to our marriage she cheated on me with her friend's cousin. I came home to find them together. She seem remorseful at the time, so we worked through the infidelity. But had other problems, like she had a difficult time keeping up the house, Even while she was a stay at home mom, She would refuse to meet my intimate needs, or do it begrudgingly,( Our intimate time was Lick me, stick me, leave me alone.) and only got worse as time went on. Even still I would have done anything for this woman, And did even when she went to full-time work, I would make sure the house was clean on the weekends that she did work so her Short weeks she had less to do. I did all the running for the kids and household supplies. Eventually I got tired, And gave up. So over the last five years we basically lived like roommates. Well when you're go in february. I had noticed she had grown even more distant.And I decided then that we would start doing date night to try to rekindle.Our marriage. Well on february the 17th We went out And had an ok time other than her being on her phone the whole time. Well as our night kind of concluded we came home for "cuddle time". I'm trying to find something on netflix, And I roll over to see messages from a coworker and her, Things like "good night" and "dream of me". Needless to say I got quite upset and without saying a word just left to clear my head. Looking back that's the worst mistake I ever made. When I finally got home. I asked to see the messages. Her phone had "mysteriously messed up" and all of the messages were deleted. She claimed nothing was going on even though later I found messages on her facebook messenger that were sexually charged memes and comments. She apologized but never took any accountability, She continued to try to text him for months after. It wasn't until after I talked to him that he ghosted her. She doesn't feel that she did anything wrong. She says that i'm abusive and manipulative, She accuses me of having a relationship with someone else. The reason that she would call me abusive is because she would upset me. Upset me and then push me to a point where I would get frustrated. Then I wouldn't wind up yelling and hollering. She even got a different cellular account so that I couldn't see any of the activity, She blocked me from seeing all of her social media. I don't know what to do. It's been a year of this, We were working towards divorce and you could imagine how that's been going. I'm selfish, Because I wanted to keep the house that I worked hard for, And when we got our taxes back. I wanted to keep the portion that should have been mine, she's lived here without helping out with the bills, "Saving" her money because she was going to go to a new place. I've basically been single but married, Still taking care of the kids and cleaning the the house with no help. I've started seeing a therapist but he wants to try to work on marriage out. And i'm just so tired and confused. And just don't know what to do.