Was she a Narc?

My wife and I who were in a relationship for 15 years sadly but in way thankfully ended things yesterday. Now looking back I am questioning whether or not she is a narcissist.

Let me start by saying that she didn’t have the easiest of upbringings herself which I feel has shaped her adult life.we have had an extremely turbulent relationship. She has physically, emotionally and financially abused me.

We have broken up a number of times and each time she threatens me with the fact she will find someone better than me and quickly, yet always comes sneaking back to me.

There have been numerous times of gaslighting where mutual friends have even called her out for it. Looking back we have had a very one sided relationship. If I set boundaries then she would cause arguments until I eventually gave in because I couldn’t put up with the mental strains it would cause.

Well yesterday I feel came the ultimate discard. Four years ago she participated and initiated an emotional and physical affair and funnily enough blamed me for all of her actions. Yesterday however, she gave me a running commentary of our entire relationship and highlighted every wrong doing that I have made even giving me dates for some events.

This is something that I have come to realise. Every single time there is a big event such as birthdays, anniversary’s, etc, it is guaranteed to be a disaster because of her actions.

She extreme double standards of what she expected from my behaviour yet on numerous occasions has done exactly what she requested I didn’t.

She initiated arguments over minor details and would initiate silent treatment for days on end. Yet would say I need to work on my communication but would hurl torrents of abuse as soon as I opened my mouth.

There has been times where she has made arguments extremely public, thrown drinks over me in public or when I’m sleeping and weaponised sex telling me that I do not deserve intimacy.

I am a very popular and well liked person both professionally and privately, yet the one person who I craved, treated me like dirt for the entire relationship.

Just wanting opinions