Just some back story. My Nex and I met over the internet. We were in an LDR and periodically visited each other for weeks at a time.

This time she was visiting me in my town. A topic of discussion every once in a while was if we were "together" or not. I expressed some doubt and discomfort about committing because this Nex discarded me before and I was antsy about committing to someone that lived a couple of states away again. (In retrospect, this is a blatant disregard of my boundaries.) Despite this, I behaved exactly as I would when I'm someone's partner.

However, one night when I was driving us to grab a bite to eat, she began to probe me, asking "Are we together or not?" Over and over again. She wanted a yes or no answer. In my opinion, it's a complex discussion. I also felt like I was put on the spot, because it was asked in a situation where I couldn't really have a moment to think. It wasn't the first time she did that either. She did it in a different situation where she asked the same question over and over until I gave an answer that she deemed "worthy" to move the conversation forward from.

Later on when we were having one of our last arguments, I kinda gave her a taste of her own medicine and I asked her what she wanted our relationship to be. However, instead of expecting a yes or no to such a complex question, I told her I was going to hang up the phone, go run some errands, and let her think about it. To which she cracked a """""joke""""".

She said "This is how you must've felt in the car." I didn't realize how vile that statement was, until recently.

Does anyone know what that behavior is called? Asking people questions with complex answers and expectating a black and white answer in that moment. Also asking questions in situations where you know someone can't walk away?

I read somewhere that Narcs expect answers in black and white, which would explain part of it.