I'm trying!!! I'm trying so hard. I have left my husband...three times!!! We went to pastoral counseling last time, who agreed, my husband may have narcissistic tendencies. Each time, "I'm really done!" Then the loneliness and love bombing override the logic. Plus, I don't WANT to divorce, but this abuse, right?

The last and final blow--charcoal. A bag of...charcoal. I bought iymt for the neighbor, whose wife was out of town, as a favor. I was going to the store anyway. My husband blew up on me in front of my daughter.

Things that would happen time and time again:

---If I said "no" to sex, he would pout, sleep in another room, wake me out of my sleep to yell at me, wouldn't speak to me for days....and then one morning, when he decided he was no longer angry---poof! Sweet, good morning texts.

--Texts---he loved to argue over text. He would argue with me over text while sitting across the room on a different couch. He would argue over text from the bedroom to the back porch. He never stopped arguing.

--Mother's Day, ruined, two years in a row, because his mom was passed, years ago. Therefore, I can't be celebrated.

--My son's birthday dinner--ruined--because he was mad about something, so he chose not to attend.

---My birthday---ruined---this year because he hadn't spoken to me for three days prior, so why start on speaking on my birthday. The year before, ruined, because my daughter wanted to take me out to dinner with her very first job money, but that wasn't cool because HE wanted to take me out. Always felt I had to choose between him and my children.

--My daughter's prom pics---ruined---because I got pictures of her and her dad with him giving her a coursage, but not him 😳

---If I'm on my phone, I must be messaging other men because....see above about turning him down for sex.

--I don't buy the right food. I don't cook what he likes. On vacation, it's the beach or nothing because, "he's a beach baby". It's the restaurant he wants to go to.

I mean, the list goes on! Is he a narcissist or just a jerk?

Which reminds me, I'm a narcissist because I told him he was a narcissist!!!

Now, he is wanting counseling again.

I ask him to stop contacting me, but about every two weeks....there it is. I blocked him from everything, but my e-mail won't block. He tried all avenues until he found one....and I responded 😞

It's so freaking hard!!!

Whew!!! That felt good. Thanks group!