I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for over two years. It was this time last year (Nov 23) i was watching the today show when they brought on Dr Ramani - I had never felt more seen or heard in my life. She explained what a narcissist was and i finally knew I was not the problem. I decided that day to leave him. A lot of the healing and support I see online seems to be from the point of view where women knew they were stuck with a narcissist. I grew up in Catholic schools and a smaller college near my hometown. Have some definite childhood trauma from being overweight and bullied but I never knew people could be so cruel. I never knew people could truly be such monsters. I believed I was the problem. The narcissist tore me apart and the entire time i thought I was the problem. I thought I was unloveable. How do we heal from that. That the person who tore me the fuck apart is the one I lost myself over. I fought everyday for someone to love me who treated me like shit. Because I never knew what it was like to have your emotions met? Or my feelings validated? Is this what daddy issues are? I have truly never had a friend or relationship where I felt truly like someone was there for me. I have friends who are like acquaintances and my family just has communication issues especially emotionally. How am I ever supposed to know what love is? When I found out what a narcissist was I went to town doing the research. Everything clicked. I’ve been calling this my healing era and truly been learning and letting myself feel everything that comes my way. I truly have come such a long way in my healing journey I just am having a hard time with what comes next. I can’t figure out what my own interests are or where to go from here. If you’ve read this far, wow you’re an amazing stranger 🩷