It's been two years and I honestly feel like the last relationship is a ghost that still ahunrs me, with scars that still haven't fully healed

For context, I spent/wasted nearly the entirety of my twenties in TWO separate narcissistic relationships (yep, two of them. I really know how to pick them)

Now I'd say I've recovered mostly from the first one. Obviously I'm still ripping up weeds and digging up seeds from that one, but most of those scars healed (it took a lot of time)

The most recent one though, the wounds are still fresh and I still struggle to move on

I struggle to trust people, I struggle to find the will to go outside and try to meet people again. I struggle to regain the self confidence I once had. I struggle to look at myself in a positive light some days still and see myself as anything more than a complete failure and a waste of space

She really did a number on me. The worst thing too is from what I hear she bounces back pretty quickly. Quickly dropping me for some new guy she's been with since..why does it seems like the truly horrible people in life get everything they want while the rest of us suffer. Here I am on two years now being single, and still struggling to work up the courage to bounce back and get back out there

The worst part is that on occasion, I will still find myself missing her. Well, the person she pretended to be at least

I really wish I could just tell her how awful of a person she is; how much if a narcissist she was and how much of me she utterly destroyed, but I know it would make no difference anyways

To her, and the other narcissist before them. F**k them. I struggle still, but I will not let them define me. Someday, somehow, I will rise above the pain and torment they brought me and the damage that they did