After multiple breakups and getting back together (of course under their non-committing terms), I’m finally seeing who they really are and in a primal surge of anger and sticking up for myself I wrote up a list of behaviors that were absolutely wicked and uncharacteristic of our Christian community and shared them with leaders and the church she leads worship at.

My heart was to stick up for myself and protect myself and anyone else in community. My intention was also to make her pay for all the hurt she caused me, though, which I’m not proud of because I’m not the type of person to attack anyone.

The aftermath of all this is that some of the people I told who were good friends don’t want to talk to me anymore and believe I was just gossiping and slandering (of course she got to them first and I’m sure slandered my name but is better at playing the victim and getting people to believe her with all her experience). Other friends still support me but don’t agree with the way I went about exposing it. And the church I reached out to ignored the emails and messages I sent and she’s still being paid to sing there.

So for me I’m proud of myself for sticking up for myself but ultimately I kind of wish I didn’t stoop to her level as perhaps that would’ve been the more mature thing to do. But then again in the past when I’ve kept my mouth shut, it would just enrage me that she was continually welcomed back into community.

What has been your experience with exposing the narcissist?