I know the best answer is just for me to move out, but the situation is a bit more complex than that.

I (37m) have been living in a group house for the last 5 years with some really lovely people.

In the fall one of our housemates had to move on, and so she did. In itself this was a pretty big blow to me as she is one of my best friends and I loved living with her.

But it couldn't just be that easy. The three of us that remained interviewed a few people to move in, and somehow out of those people we ended up inviting the one who turned out to be a narcisist move in.

She was problematic since day 1 but within the first month I engaged in a yelling match with her (this has NEVER happened in our home. We've had plenty of conflicts and disagreements over the years but they have always been worked out in house meetings and with like ya know... healthy communication, respect and honoring of each others boundaries.) due to her blatantly disregarding my boundaries and those of my other housemates.

During that yelling match I told her that I wanted her to move out, it wasn't working out for us and she needed to go. However, I am only one person and at this point it hadn't reached a boiling point with the other two, just me.

But, after that happened I knew what kind of person we were dealing with and I started to rally the other 2 to kick her out.

This isn't the first narc I've deal with. My father is a narc and my son's mother is a narc and I got the pleasant experience of being smear campaigned by yet another narc about 5 years ago just before moving into this house (which had been an emotional safe haven for the last 5 years and where i've done a lot of healing from my past relationships with narcissistic abusers).

I set really strong boundaries with her in our group chat so that it was witnessed by the whole house and she felt the pressure of that. I have been no contact with her for about 3 months now, since the start of the year, eventho we share living space together. And yes, you can bet she is leaving passive-aggressive bread crumbs around every fucking corner of my path through the house, but to my credit i've been doing a great job of ignoring them and not being reactive to her. I've denied all of her attempts to engage directly with me, etc.

But now we are planning to have a house meeting with her so that all three of us can tell her directly that we want her to leave.

One of my housemates wants to manipulate her into leaving by telling her that her cat isn't allowed to leave her bedroom (she has used her cat as a way to stir up drama with the rest of the house, we have 2 cats here already and hers has not gotten along with them at all and has peed all over the house, so this is actually a reasonable demand to make aside from it being backed with manipulative intentions.)

I told him that's fine, we can do that, but we also need to be direct and she needs to see that it's not just me that feels this way, that all of us want her to leave, and we need to be very clear about that and give her a date to move out by.

She has been dodging our attempts to schedule this meeting with her, as I'm sure she can sense what is coming.

I'm know once the news breaks to her, she is going to ramp up her crazy-making behaviors, drag her feet about it, etc etc... it will probably get pretty ugly. I'm fine with that as long as we can all hold firm in our boundaries and stay the course, I think she will move on.

One of the 3 of us continues to give her space to word-vomit on her, while myself and the other male living here have grey-rocked her. This person also need to grey-rock and stop giving her the time of day, but I can't really make her do that.

So I'm looking for advice.

What would you do? How would you approach this situation?

I can't move out because I'm not in a place financially where that would be easy to do, I also have a 14 yo son to support who lives with me part time and our rent here is an absolute steal compared to if I were to move out on my own.

We all know here weaknesses and could likely easily manipulate her into leaving more quickly, but I don't want to play that game and make my house into a warzone. I think it would be wildly unwise to go that route.

So yea, please share your thoughts. I just want to feel safe and at peace in my home and not like there's some monster looming around the corners. (I've literally caught her creeping outside my room listening in on my phone conversations).

Thanks!