We haven’t been in contact for a little bit now, but no matter what I do or how angry or upset she’s made me feel. I don’t know how to not love her or want her… In less than a week she is aborting our baby, I’ve made clear repeatedly I won’t voice my opinion or try to persuade her decision because I respect her as a woman, and it’s her body. Her choice at the end of the day. But she has shown no emotion about it whatsoever, which is just making it even harder for me. My ex and I were together for less than a year but before it got bad, it was the most intense and life changing intoxicating love I’ve ever felt. I can’t even describe it truthfully. I have never been quick to fall in love or take people at their word even really. But with this woman.. she effortlessly brought down all of my walls and made me feel safe. She said and showed her appreciation for the way I treated her because I treated her like a genuine royalty. Financially emotionally, and in every other way, literally supported her and her child. Whom I treated like my own. A few months ago, the switch flipped. The person I met had disappeared and the real her came out. She used my worst fears and insecurities against me on the daily, tried to make me feel less than her, constantly cussing me out calling me names including calling me a narcissist and a gaslighter. I started going to therapy again because anytime she got mad at me or upset in general. She would take it out on me and tell me that I needed a therapist or a psychiatrist because I’m not her problem or her responsibility etc etc. anyways, I could rant for days on end lol I hate more than anything almost that she made me question myself as a person. I know I’m not a narcissist and so does anyone else who’s met me. She was my best friend and I thought my “soulmate” or whatever. She ripped my life to the tiniest imaginable pieces walked away and just doesn’t give a shit at all.