Fuck. I am so scared. But at the same time I’m so tired, I am angry all the time and if I’m not then I’m sad or numb. In just a year, i seem to have aged like 7 physically. I cant take it anymore.. its 1pm right now and ive restricted him on all social media and blocked his number after telling him that unless he can come home and transform into essentially some kind of relationship superman and turn shit WAY around, im leaving. He gets home in 5 hours and i feel like my world is fucking ending rn..

I should also mention that my boyfriend is addicted to meth. Things got really bad this morning, and he threw his cup of coffee at the wall, and stormed out after berating me. After she grilled me for hours, i ended up telling his long time best friend the truth about everything and, well… shes gonna be here when he gets back, and she said shes gonna make sure they reach some solution with his usage. I honestly doubt it. I think he is gonna rage and punish me for breaking his rule, and then i fear possibly submitting and allowing the cycle to continue..

Please. Help me prepare for this.. My whole life is about to be turned upside down. I could use some help gathering up courage right now.