I had a toxic and traumatic situation-ship with a suspected covert narc that majorly messed me up and flipped my life upside down recently. After the “break-up,” I had a few relapses in contact that were more and more devastating and painful every time. But I still felt addicted to him. I couldn’t stop ruminating. I still felt like I missed him and loved him and needed to get my “fix” of him even though I knew in my logical mind that it was detrimental to me.

I’m happy to say that doing an EMDR addiction protocol with my therapist has made a huge difference for me! It’s been a week now since I blocked my nex on everything and went NC (again) and I honestly don’t miss him like I did. It’s wild - in the best way. It’s been hard, for sure, and I’m still having moments of big emotions roll through. But the urge to reach out to him or even have euphoric recall is practically non-existent. Today I even resisted the urge to peek at his Instagram, which has become a daily bad habit for me. Over the weekend I threw away the hoodie he gave me and burned/deleted all of our pictures together. HUGE growth for me.

So just wanted to encourage you all who are struggling to break that trauma bond - you CAN and WILL break it! If it’s available to you, I highly recommend EMDR therapy. It’s not easy, it takes work, and as we know healing isn’t linear. But it can definitely help!