Starts with: What 😢 APPEARS to be a "Shy" or "introverted" person (Both males and females can be Covert/Vulnerable narcs)

BEGINS with a VERY all consuming and intense "Golden Shiny Period" .. lasting roughly 1-2 months (EVERYONE--- (NO exceptions) ......gets ONE.

• This is where the NON N.P.D intensely feels heard and "listened to" (with an almost unheard of REALLY "deep" soulmate connection).
• Extreme and IMMEDIATE almost 24/7 ""COMMUNICATION" (BOTH parties are usually heavily invested here ) - regardless of even work or home priorities)
• One of both parties is typically either "married" or "attached" elsewhere, (the N.P.D FOR SURE)..but N.P.D 's actually PREFER married or attached persons ( in case it goes south .. they can "Control" the attached person they were pursuing - and threaten to "rat them out")
• Intense sexual chemistry with LOTS of kissing and hugging
• BOTH people will be SUPER helpful and supportive of each other .
• The NON N.P.D will provide (very openly and quickly) passwords, banking info, financial info, lend their vehicles to "help" , even send the N.P.D money or give them some ... the N/P.D however will only give info- if pressed for specifics- (the non N.P.D is soo over the moon they won't notice this here)

As the Shiny golden period winds down into the "Love Bomb/Idealization" period

Typically 1-2 MORE months MAXIMUM.

• This is where the N.P.D pulls out ALL the stops to "seal the deal" , and the non N.P.D is proudly introduced to the inner circle monkeys as the "love of their life" OR "perfect!".
• Next comes a combo of : moving in too fast, a quick pregnancy, meeting ALL the N.P.D's closest "friends" and "family, becoming a step parent /babysitter.
• At this point The NON NPD partner is typically somehow re organizing & picking up their roots and life and moving across states or provinces.... even countries to be "with" the N.P.D (the N.P.D is NOT going ANYWHERE away from all the controlled local supply sources and enablers) ! - and now the NON N.P.D...seems almost oblivious to any "previous" life they even HAD before the N.P.D .... at least to others looking on .
• Then comes the INTENSE break in period.... consisting of HEAVY intense "socializing" with the N.P.D's "inner circle of choice".. and the NEW partners inner circle (for fact finding) - and filtering out future "trouble makers" -this is where you'll hear crap like "Well your cousin Sam I drove her home one night and she wanted to sleep with me and was pretty drunk" (so that you never trust "Sam" again and or get into it with her or are too embarassed to even ASK said cousin as you are stunned ) .
• This trap and phase is pretty intense and becomes all consuming and the NON N.P.D partner is strutted about like a new peacock to anyone who will listen... (this is where those social media pics come into play ) - and are now being used by the N.P.D to hurt and Triangulate "old" supply" (who's typically "overlapped" with - as an "ex" ..... and sitting devalued and confused in the N.P.D 's OLD house/place ),,the old "she's a roommate or cousin or whatever but yet you never go over there - " (ALWAYS always check that stuff out online ) at least.

The DEVALUE stage (the NON N.P.D ) - will typically see/experience:

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• SMALL "cutting remarks - "sprinkled" at first - (usually phrased as "jokes" ) .. this slowly increases in vulgarity to start "testing" out what gets the N.P.D the best "bang for the buck" .... emotions wise .
• Increasing small little (usually untrue) remarks like " Well EVERYONE ELSE might think your x y z , but not me!, it's a good thing IM here for you!" (the beginning of the old "divide and conquer".. has slowly now begun)
• The NON N.P.D is slowly noticing that people in the N.P.D's "inner sanctum" - are suddenly giving them "Strange" looks (when the NON N.P.D has been nothing but kind to those people - and may have even HELPED those people)
• Socializing will either be done on the N.P.D's terms (and only who THEY want and WHEN) - (and frankly are usually centered around the others being able to get them "away"- so they can hook them up with addictions you don't know they have OR other people) - and socializing will eventually peeter off to NONE.

. or just the N.P.D somehow getting out alone for a supposed "side job for cash " or some other lie.... The isolation starts SLOWLY- with comments like "well let's just have some US time this weekend" -which morphs into -"well WE should conserve money, gas is so expensive", then your eventually treated so poorly or disrespectfully.. when you DO go out (with public flirting and sexual staring at relatives) - you stop wanting to go - so they REALLY work this one from the gate.

They WILL however have no qualms making sure they can leave the now "boring" partner to basically NEW strangers.... if they DO go out anywhere- its to sneak on their phone (or chase other people behind the scenes ) - (Literally) leaving the new "partner" to fend for themselves (usually in a completely alien environment ) ... where the N.P.D has already been voicing hidden "Concerns" for the "New partner" de jour.

• Any addictions the NON N.P.D HAD (if any) - will usually be GREATLY encouraged (the N.P.D will even have the partner take up a NEW addiction... if they happen to lick a previous one)- that's to keep the new partner under control , compliant and ALSO to ensure enough others see this( - so their smear campaign can pretty much come together on its own.)
• The NON N.P.D will begin to notice that EVERY interaction ANYONE has with the narc.. there now always seems to be .. a silent underlying "understanding" between them-that the NON disordered person is now somehow "missing". (Like that feeling you get when you KNOW someone is talking behind your back-THAT one) -get used to it.

Where once it was steady steady communication (which is done on PURPOSE in the beginning - to establish a baseline of how communication will BE) - but.. -as the the days now blend into "real life" (and the N.P.D is chronically bored (not like those with A.D.H.D for example .... who simply lose that EXTRA dopamine - and will now tend to focus on various actual real hobbies - (as they are confident this relationship is now completely combined and so work on improving and combining their lives together) ,

THIS is where the pivot point for the N.P.D comes into play (and the newest partner is now "flawed")... as the N.P.D FULLY still expects the same level of lust and attention - as the "GOLDEN SHINY PERIOD" ) to actually INCREASE- at this time - but only ONE way - (even with children and pets involved).

And so (to them) the newest shiny pony isn't pulling his or her "weight"( according to the N.P.D) - and are now "flawed". An N.P.D CANNOT (LITERALLY) - as they feel they will DIE) ...accept they (gasp) made an "error" in judgement ( about the newest shiny pony) - (as it would alert everyone else that its THEM who does this ALL THE TIME (but they finally just got caught out or the old supply had enough..so they gotta stick this one out... at least to keep up appearances of the good guy or girl) )

- and frankly even the monkeys and other narcs they hang with - don't even know the extent of their evil behind the scenes or added into their previous relationships in secret) - can't be scaring away the enablers (and possible other supply) - that those enablers bring around ..right?

So ....begins the "testing" phase of the N.P.D - to test out this newest partners meetle and loyalty (and frankly their nerves) at ever increasing volumes as time passes.

This might involve:

Cell phone/internet games: This is where the slightly "odd" phone use ..the newest regular partner was occasionally seeing...now is becoming a bit more obvious .....and what was mild curiosity over "odd" cell habits... now becomes a loud alarm bell (which are ALWAYS expertly explained away) is now just a passing notice at this point ( to the new shiny "partner in waiting")

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• Cell Phone use will begin to increase with "family" or "co workers" (people the new partner has NEVER even HEARD of or even MET - but seem to know the new partner just fine)
• Odd computer habits emerging - including all of a sudden playing "games" (words with friends , face-book games, pool games, Xbox, PS4) - where there are CHATS (and the new partner will notice those "Computer times' increasing...but they will freeze up when you go into the same room.
• Asking you how to delete conversations..... because their phone "seems to be running slow ".
• Ever increasing "trips" for car parts or purchases that the new partner KNOWS they don't have the funds for (they are meeting 'ex's" and internet people)
• The phone either always staying in pocket and EXTREME increases in "bathroom" time (especially early morning or late at night -I'm talking HOURS ) - New Partner ' eventually finds out that the sister "Mary's" NAME - was in the phone for a CONTACT (but the "ex" was the ACTUAL PHONE NUMBER ) - ..sweet huh?
• Discover MASSIVE amounts of PORN watching.. including DUDES or WOMEN (matters not to a narc) - to which they will deny, deny, deny, then slowly let you know they watch it "occasionally" and then the "all guys do it allot! " and then this will graduate to them watching it WHILE you sit with them (CONSTANTLY)
• This moves into eventually NEVER hearing the phone go off PERIOD (as the N.P.D has switched over to a burner phone (and where the new partner starts now - finding crumpled up receipts everywhere (and then later finds out they didn't want you to see DETAILS (VERY BOTTOM) of receipts ...because they are taking CASHBACK off YOUR bank card! :( - To buy the minutes or sim cards - for the other cells they have hidden in : toolboxes. at work, pocket in seat back of car, boot of the car, at work in the bushes.... in a bag, old work boots ) - I've seen it ALL,

Meanwhile as the "testing" begins in full force:

The newest partner is now getting NOTICEABLY publicly worn down (and will usually lose a large amount of weight , hair loss - (due to stress ) - and be quite "cranky" and "jumpy" even- - and not their "real " self at all...... and THIS is also were the N.P.D will start to REALLY whisper to the monkeys about how "worried" they are about the new partner)..and you'll' see them show up (seemingly - out of the blue - (narcy texted them on his apps or burner phone JUST before making sure your blotto or in a bad state or half asleep or they just raged at you for three nights in a row and you slept on a couch ) -asking intently and worried : "how ARE you?" ... (Usually when they JUST got caught for something)

The N.P.D will usually be the happy, calm, healthy looking one of the pair at this point - but not due to the newest "pony" - its due to embarking on ANOTHER (well hidden and sneakily organized) - -usually going on WAY before the new pony even came on the scene- and will be there WAY after)

Usually it's some poor "ex" they are whining about YOU too OR another narc or toxic personality who's ALL IN for deceit and cruelness to others .... but sometimes they Do (Dating sites are number ONE) - find a new viable naive mark - for extra "NEW sauce" ) ...and so are only just riding high off another Love Bomb..... elsewhere ), as an N.P.D is in an almost CONSTANT state of being in ONE of the phases with MANY MANY (constantly revolving..(mostly) strangers:(

The newest "partner" is now also usually taking care of EVERYTHING - SOLO (Including working, taxes, admin, cleaning, babysitting , car to shop, dinners ready , the family they probably left FOR the narc, lawyers from the fallout OF going WITH the narc, getting ALL kids to school, pet care, basically they become the personal assistant to old narcy.

and we cant forget here - making sure the N.P.D has ALL THEIR addictions there .. when they get home !... (when they DO finally meander home (after leaving work 2-3 days a week "early" OR going in "late", telling "work" they have an "appt" (yaaa) - on the sly- (but will wander home "on time" - at least in the eyes of the trusting newest partner-- whos now heavily in devaluation..

And whos probably also now struggling financially - as their sources are somehow always now draining rapidly and they can't pinpoint why)..and narcy is telling all his co-workers their new partner is "lazy" or "addicted" or "controlling") -the partner now- at this point- is probably also so stunned and unwound (thinking its THEM) - vollying off desperate upset texts -at this point wanting locations or even acknowledgement during the day :( -- and pesky cell location never seems to "work" or the phone is "Cloned" (they use THAT one ALOT) )- ---whatever will work for pity.

And The newest partner better be done all their assigned/ordered "tasks" "and fully ready to sit and pay court when narcy gets "home" ( to the same old stories from being a teenager-(the NON NPD) is still FULLY expected to hear them over and over and over....usually on SPEAKERPHONE to OTHER enablers and narcs... and act as interested and enthralled as when they FIRST told you...... EACH TIME!) - OR be exploited (for their sick entertainment somehow) , and you better be looking great when the N.P.D DOES see you ..which (of course as MOST reasonable people KNOW ... cannot be sustained)

The Discard card..

This is a DIRTY heart wrenching time for the new partner - and NEVER ends (unless the partner can FULLY and completely go no contact and work those child-hood wounds ) - and is akin to coming off a hard drug detox - (Trauma Bond) ....but the N.P.D is LOVING it!!!!

They are getting maximum "bang" (literally) for their "buck" of investing in this "fraudster" they married or moved in with---- and have been scouring their "replacement" .....they cant believe this new person is so "IMPERFECT!) - also its probably been happening since the middle of the Idealization period..... Maybe even sooner.

This last part of the hell cycle can go on for DECADES (especially with a covert or vulnerable narc and ESPECIALLY if the newest partner is unaware of personality disorders in general )

I've seen them reach back to "ex's" they have slagged HARD to others and malignant hoover them - PURELY ..... to triangulate "ex's" and "newest" public supply - normal loving folks would NEVER purposely DO that... in most cases.

Oh did I mention? - they are STILL talking to (on the REGULAR) - on various fake numbers and apps) ALL their "ex's" and "potentials' and "hidden shame supply" (Local hookers and online riff raff) the new partner has NO IDEA about....

ALL so they can (in fight ) amongst each other - for example leaving their phone up and facing out and all notifications and sound ON (and THEY DO THIS OFTEN) to make sure you see "friend" requests pop up -11 Pm the NIGHT before a long weekend) ..an "ex" from over 30 YEARS ago.

Who even said "are you two still together? and then refused to acknowledge SHE had sent the request )- he had her THAT snowed (probably still does) " - so as her and I got "into it" - HE just revved it up and fed it MORE- (She was "crazy: and "probably drunk" and "I cant help WHO sends me a "friend" request) If you had a nicle everytime you heard THAT one you'd have an island.

(yaaa) - then waited until I was angry enough to leave,...then went and met whoever (as I escaped with a child to get out of the rage and screaming) ...wish I could make this stuff up...

(and will purposely arrange this on a long weekend as part of the latest "getaway" --- ) so as the current "partner" is freaking out , confused, hurt , and horrified, and going at it with the "old" supply they are STILL screwing with (and the reason I always suggest warning the new supply's (Friends and family-) - NOT NEW SUPPLY - (they are too love bombed to even answer you, and the narc has already told them you are : "Controlling" "crazy" "cheating" "lying" "staling" - (basically they list all THEY are doing and have done)

But ..NEVER tell directly the NEW supply -you tell their family and friends- who at the bare minimum..... will watch the narc closer... as it unfolds -and the friends and family.. well THEY haven't been "manipulated" yet ... by the narc -so THEY still see clearly )

Don't mention N.P.D at ALL (just send shots of proof with BEHAVIOUR) - As it only revs up the current monkeys into calling YOU a "Narcissist" -I've been there )

If they can get the "current" and the "ex's: to throw down - then no one is focusing on what they are REALLY doing or where they REALLY are right? And he bought himself a few NIGHTS and MANY hours doing this crap..until I caught on.

The new partner is now becoming and unwilling detective and searching for things like :

• Why did my spouse stop talking to me all of a sudden?
• Signs of a cheating spouse (because EVERYONE eventually starts searching around ....trying to figure out what the heck is happening )
• Why is my spouse flirting in PUBLIC with other people?
• Cell phone habits of a cheater?
• Signs your husband may be gay?
• Signs of a PORN addict? (I could go on)
• Why did my partner show up 2 hours late after my surgery or appointment ?
• Why is my spouse in the bathroom for over 45 minutes?

This LAST STAGE to heartbreak town is the dreaded and painful - DISCARD- the stage where the N/P/D is just out in the open at HOME, mask off, almost no contact (but still expects a daily "report" (umm noooo) --- and still raging to intimidate and distract (if you show them yet more sketchy locations or question them) .

You are now expected to FULLY participate in the delusion to keep THEIR public persona intact (while YOURS is in shreds ....for no good reason) .

And...as the cherry ......Until the N.P.D finds a MAIN PUBLICLY accepted - source of supply YOUR "it" - and he/she will completely finish draining the newer partner to the NUB... LITERALLY.... those once nice nice nice mean nice nice nice nice mean nice cycles?- well NOW they become.... "nice" ....MAYBE once a month or maybe 2..... usually to GET something- otherwise their attention is now SOLELY on procuring strangers attention online until one "bites"

The N.P.D eventually "checks out/Unmasks" completely on the way out the door (or forcing supply itself in deval...... OUT THE DOOR) - BUT ..without a new "player to take to the stage they are stuck with only "desperation picks ) for now- a low form of PUBLIC narc supply..as it doesn't bring with it PRIDE but "SHAME - (usually local sex workers or online hookups (also their favorite spot to HUNT)

The N.P.D is also trying to control any OUTGOING info- as much as possible at this point - and are trying to hold back the coming tide -they have ran this little rodeo THOUSANDS of times since childhood or early teens - and keep the newest sucker from blabbing to everyone what they have discovered (the very hard way usually)

This phase can last FOREVER (as the narc will slowly almost inperceptibly now begin to maneuver the newest "partner" (whos now found out too much) - but ... still has some sort of "supply value" - sex, money, looks, avoiding spousal or child support, child CARE, car use, bank card use ) - to the "Harem garage" - and eventually gives them a "this is happening ..your now stuck- so deal with it" -no win (except narcy) ...situationship ) ...and off they skip to secure a new naive "partner"..but in earnest now.

As usually the newest (now "old" ) .. partner.. is depleted and EXHAUSTED and tired of :

• Being OVERWHELMINGLY lonely every day - while the N.P.D merrily goes about their outside "business" (and the old partner just isolates MORE (from the sheer SHAME and micro managing control - this person begins to bring to their very day to day life) ' - ---- as the N.P.D is now OBVIOUSLY and ACTIVELY seeking STRANGERS ..... to give their best to .
• The "Partner" receives almost no more communication or really any thought ...(unless the narc wants something DONE) - (and so will themselves begin to shut it all down) -else lose their minds .....literally.
• Disrespected almost daily with (what may seem to others as "trivial") but has been set up over a LONG period of time (little things.. but over and over and over again - like them knowing you hate mustard and will slather it on and then expect you to eat it ANYWAY)...... bringing me to ...
• Raged at OR Guilt- is a CONSTANT now - -"if you don't --- x, y, z - its the "guilt" for you! - "well I thought you LIKED x y z!!-- fine!.. now I suppose your not gonna even EAT it right?! (Sulk away)
• Served unhealthy food - (as often as possible ) - on THEIR schedule and you are STILL to be super grateful they heated up those frozen burgers and were sooooo wonderful and spectacular for "feeding" everyone (even though they were just going to get themselves food anyway) ..
• Feeling always on edge (especially after forcing BASIC answers from them -my experience today --- and now I have to sit here afraid of the freak out for showing where he "disappeared" after "work" yesterday) ..2 hours NO IDEA where he was- as I drove with a torn rotator cuff ) - our child around and to the tax office ect)

The new "old" partner - now has to also INSIST on self care and care of others and children and pets and jobs - and hits the "UNPAUSE" button .....out of sheer necessity .... just to take care of BASIC self care and family care .which only makes the N.P.D MORE controlling and rageful...and the tension is now almost 24.7. The way the NPD LOVES it....Ongoing TORTURE for those who cant stand conflict:(

At this point the N.P.D is still "under the gun" though - and MUST act quickly to secure a new naive "partner" -- on the down lo.... at first- ..That is at least - until they can FULLY convince them that newest previous "new partner" was "bad news" ... and lock THEM in.... for the next few years of hell...(but that's why WE are here right?)

And its usually going to be an extremely age inappropriate or super toxic person - their favorite is someone you KNOW or YOUR family - ALL to please other strangers OR they use someone far older: for money or homes or status of some sort -till they can get a shiny new young one ..... (whos not hip to the games)- and can make them look "good" again (read "SHALLOW there) )

That is - (if the newer "old" partner hasn't already) - and ALOT do..... and ALOT don't- everyone is individual) ..... had to "cut bait" or blessedly "emotionally" finally become totally numbed out to cope.... before they completely get phased out and break apart.