My MB pimped me out to her friends, and now I have to watch their kids simultaneously too. None of these kids are potty trained, so it’s entirely possible that shit will literally end up on a fan.

Thankfully, my pimp is not taking a cut of my wages…or if she is, she hasn’t told me yet. Of course, as her inclination is to recklessly pimp me out to unknown families, she could always choose to extract a commission at the last minute.

My pimp is letting me set my own rate though, and when is that ever a thing, right? So I’m going to charge $90/hr per child! Buying trafficked nanny services on the black market comes at a premium, right? Ummmm….right, Reddit? Did I ask for too much?

My mom, who has no problem with me being pimped out by another mom, thinks I am asking too much. But if she loved me, she’d save me….or at least tell me to ask for money, right? If only she loved me, I wouldn’t be in this trafficking nightmare in the first place.

If I get $90/kid, I’ll be looking for other pimps in case anyone is interested. I ain’t no hustler but I hustle.