So one of my kids 3m is what I would describe as a passive tantrumer. Whenever he is upset or doesn't want to do something his go to tactic is to lay limply on the floor and avoid eye contact, or speech.

Yesterday I had gotten him up from his nap and was getting him ready to go outside to splash in puddles, he was very excited. I said,

"Ok bud, take off your pants so we can go potty and get outside clothes on." (he is fully capable of doing so and happily obliged that morning)

M3 "No, moonpi do it."

I explained to him that my job was to get the stroller ready to go and his job was to take off his pants. I then reminded him of all the fun things we would get to do when we got outside. He proceeds to flop onto the ground. Now, if I had my way, after 5 minutes I would have said that if he can't follow directions, we won't go outside, and to tell me when he's ready to make better choices. However, his mom is WFH, in the room with us and is adamant we stick to his schedule.

I spend a solid 10 minutes trying to get him to take his pants off, eventually hand over handing him until they are around his ankles, I then spend another 10 keeping them around his ankles with my toes (he was trying to pull them back up) and asking him to step out. After 20 MINUTES OF THIS his mom tells me to just let him have his way and take him outside to play.

I explain that pretty much the worst thing you can do with a toddler is resist and then give in, as it teaches them to tantrum longer. She says to do it anyway. By this point he is lying on the floor and refusing to pull his pants back up. He is not sad, he is mad.

When we are outside playing I try to explain that there would have been more time for fun if he followed directions, and that he can make better choices next time, but English is his second language and I'm not sure he got it.

I can't quit, my fiance is in the process of shifting careers, so I need tactics to managing tantrums when his parents treat him like a baby and give in constantly.