Had a dream last night that I was interviewing with a new family and offered them a service menu like you would at a car dealership.

“Now we can start with our basic babysitter package. This is just baseline: watching the kids and keeping them alive. TV, Mac and cheese, and a limit of two games and 15 minutes of pretend play. Basic housekeeping: cleaning up after meals and wiping the kids faces.

“Next we have the bronze nanny package. It’s an upgrade from the basic babysitter. It includes the previous services, bathing the children and your pretend time is upped to 30 minutes. Housekeeping services include sweeping the floor. As a bonus, we include three book readings per day.

“If you need something more, you’ll want the silver nanny package. Your housekeeping is upgraded to feeding the pets, starting and transferring laundry, and wiping off counters. Vacuuming can be added on for a small up charge. You also get educational games and more pretend play time.

“The gold nanny package includes seasonal crafts, outings, and up to two drop offs and pick ups per week. If you need more, you’ll want the chauffeur add on.

Now, you might want the platinum nanny package. This allows you to have the nanny substitute for you at events, upgrades your pickups and drop offs, includes curriculum planning, and upgrades your laundry.

“Our premium package is the household manager. This includes appointment scheduling, grocery ordering, and a host of other services.

“Oh, distance learning? You need the scholar upgrade. Yeah, it’s super expensive.”

EDIT: thank you for the awards!