Baby boy (1m) has had a very rocky road. He is finally home, and about 90% stabilized with most of his medical issues addressed in some way - but still dealing with a variety of issues - including two surgeries coming up in the near future. MB is understandably a mess, and I rarely see DB because of his work hours. That brings us to the real problem... 3F.

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Baby boy has not even reached his due date yet (premie), so MB had all of these plans of things that would happen before the baby came - she was going to potty train 3F and get rid of the pacifier. Well, neither of those things has happened. We had completely reduced the pacifier to just nap and bedtime - if she wanted it, she had to be in bed and ready to go to sleep. Well, now everyone (minus me) just gives it to her because she cries if she doesn't have it. I walk in in the mornings and hold out my hand, and she passes it off without a word or a tear. Same with getting her hair brushed and putting her clothes on, and sometimes brushing her teeth (although MB has won that one most of the time)... she fights everyone and tells them "no no, only nanny."

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I am her routine and structure right now, and MB is on maternity leave and 100% focused on baby boy. She does 1-on-1 things with 3F occasionally, but baby boy is averaging 3 or 4 medical appointments a week, and MB is anxious about leaving him for long. She took 3F to her Valentine's Day party at preschool yesterday while I stayed home with the baby. 3F ran inside to show me her goody bag and I was feeding the baby. She *flipped out* immediately ran and hid behind mom and started crying "mommy take baby away! take him upstairs! I want nanny!" I had her come and sit with me while holding him and had her calm down and talk to me about her Valentine's Day Party, but mom just wanted to take the baby and do what 3F said.

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The neighbors have also been bringing food every day so the family doesn't have to worry about dinner. It's so nice of them! But its a bunch of different neighbors so about 90% of them bring a present for the baby... and a present for 3F. The playroom looks like a toy factory exploded in it. This week alone she got 3 things from MB/DB (who feel guilty) and 5 things from the neighbors! They're mostly small things (puzzles, a toy truck, some figurines) but still! I had 3F help me and we packed up a bunch of old toys, rearranged the playroom and generally got it under control, but neighbors are bringing food until March 1st, so god knows what else I'm going to walk into.

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MB knows all of this is problematic and she keeps saying she will address it when baby boys health is under control. Grandma is watching 3F today and I have the day off - grandma just sent pictures of 3F still in her pjs with her pacifier in. I know things will get better and I absolutely love this family and I know that a lot of these problems are normal things that happen when a new baby comes, but gosh it's frustrating when you're in the trenches.