The kids I nanny right now have really been struggling with structure and have been resistant to the routines I’ve established with them over the summer. I hate to say it, but these kids are quite entitled and I’ve seen how their parents enable the disrespectful behavior. Things are improving as far as routines are concerned, but one child said something today that concerned me.

We were talking about our plans for the day. One of the twins has this very extreme “my way or the highway” type of mindset which has caused him to erupt into tantrums when it’s time to transition from one activity to the next or whenever things are not going his way. Not only that, but he tends to want to control what others are doing and how they are playing. He basically thinks that he calls all the shots. I understand that these tantrums aren’t abnormal for a kid this age but I also refuse to enable them. I don’t want to be rigid with them since it is summer break, but they also really need a bit structure. This morning, I planned to start out with something more calming like drawing/ reading/coloring/ card game or board game. After suggesting some options, he says “I don’t want to do any of that”. In response I say “well that’s okay, that you feel that way, but these are your options”. The brother chimes in and says “you might want to do what he says because he’ll have a tantrum”. The child in question continues, saying “yeah, you don’t want me to have a tantrum because I’ll get really loud.” Am I being petty here? Surely it won’t kill me to play a game that the kid wants, but he’s being raised with the expectation that things should always be his way. I’m pretty flexible, but starting the day off with something structured, quiet or independent seems to be good for children. The parents hired me because I’m a teacher and they liked the fact that I make plans for their children. But I’m struggling here. The parents work from home and the kids can’t be screaming while they’re on calls.

They’re only 6, but they are clearly aware of the impact of their behavior. They’ve seen that tantrums gets them what they want with their parents. The fact that he’d threaten me with that tells me they know exactly what they’re doing. Am I the asshole here?