It's that part of mid-summer where my mind is perpetually in the gutter and I just want a steamy sweaty passionate fuck with a hot guy with a big dick. I've had a lot of success from Reddit before so, in the wise words of the Backstreet Boys, oh my god, [I'm] back again.

Me: 5'4 / 185 / size 12-14, vaxxed, DDF with recent test results (last week). Switchy in bed. Arm/leg tattoos, ear/nose piercings, medium length brunette hair. Big glasses, wear a lot of black, live alone in a cute apartment in central Brooklyn with a lot of house plants and thrifted art. Think slightly alt plant lady queer librarian vibes with plenty of sarcasm and self deprecation. Busy often, manage a team at my nonprofit job, have my shit vaguely together. Also I've lost an extreme amount of weight recently, which means my skin is very very loose and squishy even though I'm quite active and muscular underneath because I walk a fuck ton and work out nearly every day. If that's a turn off, no hard feelings, but keep it moving!

You: 20s through early 40s, cute, hung, also switchy, and available over the next few days. I have a lot of different "types" physically but, you know, I'm a classy lady, so the brain game is a big part of it and I'm most attracted to intelligence, kindness, wit, and strength (which can manifest in a lot of ways, like I love a hardy dad bod as much as a toned physique). Beyond that, you should be down to get to know each other and connect mentally first, be vaxxed, be DDF with recent test results, and have good hygiene. Please also be SINGLE (no "open relationships" either, and cheaters I can always tell if you're lying). You should also definitely be into women with body types like mine. I'm not interested in anyone who'll "settle" to play with me, you know?

If you want a response, chat (don't DM) me: Your age, some info about who you are, what in my post appealed to you, and a body photo (doesn't have to include your face (although I'd love to see it); whatever you're comfortable with). Also tell me what your favorite place to eat in the city is so I know you read this whole thing (and also because I need new restaurant recs lol).

\I'll automatically delete any messages without photos, messages with poor spelling/grammar or without any effort put into them, and messages that just ask me for a photo and nothing else. If you can't bother spending a minute or two typing out a pretty basic response to facilitate building a human connection it's pretty clear what kind of lover you are. (hint: a selfish one)**

Thanks for reading. :)